Kames: Big Time Lovers
by pyrodaggers
Summary: This is a story about the life of Kames, a pairing between Kendall Knight and James Diamond. They were just ordinary boys looking for someone to love. They have dated many, but none of them were how you say...'the one'. They're friends Carlos and Logan are together already...But will they ever find 'the one?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Kendall PoV-

"Okay guys, from the top!" Gustavo yelled.

We were recording our song, Music Sounds Better With You. The guys and I were exhausted, but Gustavo wanted the song by tonight, with no breaks.

Ooh baby

It feels like, it feels like

Music sounds better with you, baby/

I t feels right, it feels right

Everything's better with you.

"Yes! Finally! You can take a break now."

We all fell to the floor. James' hand fell onto mine and I felt my face get hot.

"Oh, sorry." He removed his hand.

He looked at me with his gorgeous hazel eyes that glowed brightly in the light, which made my heart, melt every time. I tried to look away, but I was caught in a trance.

James PoV-

I looked into his emerald green eye. I wanted to take that sweet, innocent body into my arms and embrace him in a deep, meaningful kiss. I just didn't know if he loved me the same way I loved him. I was head over heels for him.

"Go home." Kelly said.

She snapped mine and Kendall's eyes out of the trance they were in. We got up and walked out the door. Logan put his arm around Carlos' waist and pulled him closer. They have been dating for the past few months.

Yeah, I was jealous. They had eachother to hold in their arms everyday. They both had someone to keep them going. I had...no-one. No-one to feel those sensations with.

We got to the room that we all lived in with Ms Knight, Kendall's mom and Katie, his little sister. I turned to Logan.

"Logan, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, James." We stepped out the door.

Logan PoV-

"What's up?" I closed the door behind me.

"I think I'm in love with Kendall."

"Wow, I had no idea." I smiled in sarcasm.

"C'mon man. You got to help me out."

"Okay. Have you told him how you felt about him yet?"

"I cant do that. How did you get together with Carlos?"

"I told him how I felt, James. You should do the same. I'm tired of you always flirting with him and not telling how you feel! Now you need to man up and do that!" I hated to yell at him, but it had to be done to get it through his thick skull.

"Logan, I want to. Trust me, you don't know how much I want to, but I cant! I just cant!" He looked at me with tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, James. I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it. At least you help me get it off my mind. I'm going for a walk. Tell the guys I'll be back later." Then he left.

I went back inside and flopped down on the couch. Carlos was eating corndogs, it didn't surprise me, so I just smiled. Kendall was playing tag with Katie and Ms. Knight was...well she wasn't there. Kendall stopped and looked at me.

"Where's James?" As Katie tagged him.

"He went for a walk. He said he would be back later."

"Oh...okay..." He answered sadly.

He was clearly in love with him. Then an idea popped into my head.

"Carlos, come here, please. I need to talk to you."

"Okay." He said with a mouth full of food.

He swallowed his food and drank some water to wash it down. He walked over a sat next to me.

"Yes?"

"I need you to do me a favor." I grabbed his hand.

"I'm all ears." He smiled.

I looked around to see if Kendall was there; he wasn't.

"I talked to James earlier..." I told him the whole conversation.

"I knew it! So, what did you want me to do?"

"I want you to ask Kendall how he feels about James. Please?"

"Uh...sure." He grinned.

"Thank you." I kissed him softly.

Carlos PoV-

I deepened the kiss by putting my hand on the back of his head and pulled it closer. I started to push him back on the couch, but he stopped me and shook his head.

"What's the matter, Logan?" He had never stopped me before.

"One, we have a child in the house today. Two, you have to go talk to Kendall."

"And three?"

"Three, I love you." He smiled.

"I love you, too. Well, okay. I'm going to go talk to Kendall and come back with details." I smiled back and stood up.

"Okay. Good details, kay?"

I nodded and went to meet up with Kendall. I saw him no where. I looked everywhere, but he still wasn't there.

"Kendall! Kendall, where the heck are you!"

"What's the matter, Carlos?" Logan snuck up behind me.

I jumped and turned around.

"You scared me to death. I don't see him anywhere."

"Maybe-"

"Hey guys. Kendall said he was going for a walk." Katie smiled and pranced away.

"Oh, okay...wait! If he meets up with James, then things are going to get awkward. When things get awkward, friendships will end. Then if friendships end, the world will end! We have-"

"Carlos! Calm down. That stuff is not going to happen." He grabbed my shoulders. "Babe, I love ya, but you exaggerate a bit too much." Logan chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"We don't have time to discuss the matter. We need to find Kendall...fast."

We ran out the door.

Kendall PoV-

I was at the park looking for James, but saw him no where. So, I went back to the Palm Woods, to look for him there. I was in love with him, no doubt about it, but I didn't know how to tell him that. I didn't know if he loved me back.

I went to the pool area and saw him there. He was wearing his skin-tight tank-top and the jeans that I had given him for his birthday last month. They hugged his butt very nicely. I snapped out the day-dream I was in and walked over to him.

"Hey." He jumped and turned around.

"H-Hey Kendall. I-I didn't expect you to be here." He rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"James, I need to talk to you." I took his wrist and went over to sit on a bench in the corner, out of sight from everyone. "I don't know how to say this, but...I like you, James. I always have." He looked shocked.

I felt a sadness come over me. I just messed up, big time. I thought to myself. I stood up.

"This was a mistake." He grabbed my hand and I stopped.

"No. It wasn't a mistake. I-I like you too, Kendall. Always have. Please? Sit back down?" He tightened his grip a bit.

I sat down and he entwined his fingers through mine. He leaned forward as I sat still. His lips brushed against mine, and then he finally kissed me. It was so sweet and soft.

James PoV-

As I was kissing him, I realized something. All this time, he had loved me the same way I loved him. He let out a tasteful sigh. His lips tasted like cherry: sweet and oh-so good.

I put my hand on t=his thigh and clenched down with my nails into his skin. He groaned and put his hands through my hair, deepening the kiss. I wanted him so badly. We broke away for a second. We put our foreheads together and tried to catch our breaths.

"We can never...speak of this to anyone. Not even...Carlos and Logan." I smiled.

"James! Kendall!" I heard Carlos' voice call out.

"They cant know that we are here together." He freaked.

"I got this." I smiled and stood up.

"James, we've been looking everywhere for you." Carlos punched my arm.

"Ow! Well, you found me. So, what's up?"

"Have you seen Kendall?"

"No...No I haven't." I looked down and saw Kendall facepalm himself. I cant lie; I suck at it.

"James, we know you're lying. Where-Wait, what are you looking at?" Logan tried to pier over the bench.

"Nothing." I said too quickly and walked around to come between him and the bench.

"Whatever. Just tell us where Kendall is and we will go." He crossed his arms.

"Check the park. I thought I saw him there earlier. Now, shoo, please." I waved my hands.

"Okay, okay. Lets go, Carlos." Logan grabbed Carlos' hand and they walked away.

"Are they gone?" Kendall whispered.

"Yes." I smiled.

"Good." He pulled me back next to him and embraced me into another kiss.

Only this time wasn't as meaningful as the first. I didn't like the feel of this one, it was too aggressive. I tried to pull away, but he was too strong. So, I gave in. After a minute or two, I finally managed to get free.

"What's wrong?" I didn't want to break his heart, so I made this lie, my best lie.

"Nothing. I just have to catch up with Logan and Carlos, because they are going to find out sooner or later that you aren't at the park. When that happens, I'm going to get interrogated." Wow, James. He'll surely believe that. I thought to myself.

"Oh, okay. See you later." He smiled.

"I am a genius." I mumbled to myself as I walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Carlos PoV-

We headed towards the park to look for Kendall, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"I knew James was lying! Kendall was sitting right there and I didn't even notice it! Gosh, I am so stupid!" I screamed.

"HEY! Don't you ever say that! You're not stupid! You hear me!" Logan grabbed my shoulders.

I started to tear up. He moved his hand down my shoulder, down my forearm, entwined his fingers through mine, and smiled.

"I'm sorry, Carlos. I just don't like it when you say stuff like that."

"Its okay. We need to go back to the hotel and find Kendall. He's our main priority." I grinned widely.

"Right. Lets go. But first lets find James and give him a piece of our mind."

I nodded and we ran back to the Palm Woods as fast as we could. We searched everywhere for James, but couldn't find him anywhere. We went to the crib and rested, because we were exhausted.

"Hey boys. Back so soon?" Ms. Knight smiled.

"Yeah. Have you seen James or Kendall lately?" I asked as I was wiping off my helmet.

"Sorry, honey. No, but Kendall did say something about going to the pool. Try checking there."

"Okay. We will later. Besides, we-the pool!"

"Yeah. Why? What happened? Is something wrong?" She freaked.

"No, ma'am." I tried to stay calm until we got out of the room. "Nothing's wrong."

I put my helmet on and patted it. I grabbed Logan's forearm and ran towards the door.

"Those boys are strange." She shook her head.

"We know." We smiled.

"You boys be careful."

"We will!" We yelled as we closed the door behind us.

We ran to the pool and saw the blonde drinking a red slushy. We ran up to him, pushing people into the pool along the way.

"Kendall!" I screamed, making him choke on the slushy.

"...What!" He said, still coughing.

I patted his back, trying to help. He put his hand up.

"I'm okay. Why the hell did you do that!" He set down his drink.

"Sorry. We were wondering have you seen James."

"No." He answered way too quickly.

"Uh-huh...Kendall, I needed to talk to you. Logan, go find James."

"But I thought-" I just looked at him. "Oh, okay. See you later, honey." He kissed my cheek and left.

"Let's talk about James." I sat him down.

"What about him?"

"You like him, right?"

"No, I didn't"

"What do you mean, 'No, you don't'? You have been crushing on him since the 5th grade, Kendall."

"I don't like him, Carlos!"

"Oh, okay..." I frowned.

"I love him." My eyes lit up and I smiled.

"Well, that good news. For a second there, I thought you didn't like him at all." I sighed.

Logan PoV-

I searched and searched, and then I finally found James at the park. I ran up to him and screamed.

"James! How could you lie to us like that! We're your best friends!" I punched him in the arm, hard.

"First of all, ow!" He rubbed his arm. "Secondly, I was protecting him!"

"From what!"

"You!" I gasped.

"Us? Why?"

"Because, I knew once you found him, you would interrogate him and he cant handle that!"

"Well, we've found him at the pool and Carlos is with him now."

"NO!" He screamed and tried to run, but I wrapped my arms around him, to stop him. "Kendall!"

"James! Stop! Its fine! Carlos isn't interrogating him. He's just asking and telling him the same thing that I asked you today, when you came to me about Kendall." He calmed down and started to think.

"What did you tell or ask me today?"

I was letting him figure it out himself, which I found out wasn't the best idea I've ever had. He thought for a second then got a worried look on his face.

He took off and ran towards the pool I tried to catch him, but he was too fast. We finally got to it, to see Kendall crying.

"Kendall...are you okay?" James grabbed him up and held tight.

Kendall wrapped his arms around James' waist and buried his face into his chest. He shook his head and cried more.

"T-They know. He m-made me tell. I'm s-sorry."

I looked at Carlos as James was assuring Kendall that it was okay.

"What do we know?"

"Him and James have kissed and they weren't going to tell anyone for the fear of interrogation."

"Well, did you have to make him cry?"

"I'm so sorry about that."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Carlos!" James yelled.

"James, I-"

"I don't want your apologies! Haven't you said and done enough!" He walked off with Kendall attached to him like a bug on fly paper.

I looked at Carlos and saw tears in his eyes.

"Carlos, he didn't-"

"Yes, he did! Did you not see the anger in his eyes! Or how he screamed at me!"

"I-" I reached out to hug him, but he took a step back away from me. I gasped.

"I need to be alone."

"Okay. I love you." He frowned and walked away.

"He didn't say, 'I love you' back to me. That's the first time he's ever done that...Carlos..."

Kendall PoV-

Being in James' arms was comforting. We arrived at The Crib and sat on the couch. I laid my head on his chest, wrapped my arms around him, and cried some more. Then my mom came into the room.

"What happened?" She set her keys on the table in front of us.

"Him and Carlos had a little fight. But its okay." James said, rubbing my back with his hand.

"Are you two...?" She moved her finger, pointing it at both of us.

"Yes, ma'am. I hope you don't have a problem with it, Ms. Knight. I mean if you do, then we can...you know."

Break up! No! Not after everything we've been through!

"No!" I hugged him tighter.

"Its fine, you two. I always knew Kendall would find someone who is as caring, sweet, and as good looking as you." She smiled, kissed the top of our heads, and left for the day.

We had the place to ourselves.

"You hear that? She thinks I'm good looking." James chuckled, which made me laugh. "Kendall?"

"Yeah?" I looked up, to see him smiling.

"I love you."

My whole body froze. I didn't know what to say to those three little words. They were...I mean, I like him, but just don't know if I love him; or did I?

"I like you too." He frowned at this.

"I said, 'I love you' not 'I like you'."

"I know, but I don't think I'm ready for the whole 'love' thing yet."

"Oh...okay." There was sadness in his voice.

I thought for a minute. I did love him. What was I saying? He was mine, all mine. I loved everything about him. His smile; the way he smelled so good; the way I could do anything, be anything for him and he would always be there.

"What am I saying?"

"Huh?"

"I love you, James. I always have since the 5th grade.

He smiled at this.

He cupped my face and kissed me. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood on my knees and straddled across him. I put my hands through his hair and kissed him ever=N more. He then moved his hands from my face and slid them to my sides. He clenched down with his nails, puncturing my shirt, which felt painfully good...

It made me want him even more. He stood up, with our lips still locked, and backed me into the wall. He started playing with the bottom of my shirt and rose it up so that he could touch my skin. I shuttered at the touch of his cold hands against my warm body.

He broke away and moved his lips to my neck. I took my hands from his hair and slowly moved them to his shirt. Little by little, I raised his shirt, showing more skin each time. I was teasing him, making him more and more aggravated by the second.

"Just do it already." He growled.

I laughed and took his shirt the rest of the way off, revealing his tight six-pack abs. I sighed.

"Like what you see?" He whispered in my ear.

Feeling his warm breath on my ear made me shiver. I ran my finger down his chest and across his abs. I spread out my hand and made my way back up his torso. I nodded and looked at him. He smiled and started kissing my cheekbone.

"My turn."

James PoV-

I was in love with him, without a doubt. I wanted him so much, it hurt. Sure, there were a lot of guys in my past, but I never felt this way about any of them.

I slowly slid his shirt off and revealed his six-pack. I did the same to him, as he done to me, but moving my hand slower. His skin was warm. Hot against my cold hands. I felt him shutter at my touch, making goosebumps appear.

"Cold?" I smiled.

"A bit." He took in a deep breath.

I laughed and he punched me in the arm playfully.

"Not funny." He smiled.

"Yes it is." I kissed his lips, parting mine slightly.

He parted his lips and it was like fireworks were set off. We didn't try to take it as far as the other times; we made this kiss last. I put my hand on his cheek, but he moved it to entwine his fingers through mine. Then our sweet kiss was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hey guys! Let me in!" Logan's voice echoed.

We sighed. Kendall walked over to the door and just looked at me. I nodded and he let him in. Logan came barging in, pacing back and forth.

"Have you guys seen-Whoa!" He looked at both of us.

"What?" I said.

I looked down and saw that both me and Kendall were still shirtless. I threw Kendall his shirt and picked up mine. We put them on and went back to talking to Logan.

"You were saying?"

"Carlos is missing!" Logan cried.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Carlos PoV-

I needed to get away for a while. Just me...and my helmet. I hated to leave, but I couldn't take it anymore. What I said to Kendall was uncalled for.

Flashback

"I have a question." I said politely.

"Ask away, buddy." Kendall smiled.

"What did you and James do earlier when you guys were together?"

"Nothing." He said quickly.

"Stop lying to me! Damn it, Kendall! Tell me what you two did, or so help me I will crush you to pieces!" I growled.

"Stop yelling me!" He cried. "We k-kissed, okay! T-There I told you!" He broke down into tears.

That's when James and Logan showed up.

Reality

"Flight to Minnesota is boarding now. Please make you way to the plane. Thank you." The intercom called.

"Well, that's our flight." I patted my helmet. "Let's go."

I boarded the plane. I had no luggage. Just a jacket, my phone, and my helmet. I figured my mom had some of my clothes back home with her. As I waited for the plane to take off, I took time to call her.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Momma?" I felt a knot in the back of my throat.

"Carlos, what's the matter, baby?"

"I'm coming home. I'll tell you why when I get there."

"Okay, honey. I love you."

"I-I love you too, Momma. Bye."

"Bye, baby."

I hung up and started to feel more and more guiltier by the second. I didn't even tell anyone 'bye' or tell Logan that I love him.

"Please fasten your seatbelts. Turn off all electronics while the plane is taking off. Thank you." The flight attendant said.

I fastened my seatbelt and turned off my phone. I sat back and let out a deep breath. As the plane took off, I felt a tear run down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, but more come. The plane was in the air, so I turned my phone back on to check any missed messages or calls from Logan.

"Five missed calls and 3 text messages. No voicemail."

I pressed the view button on my messages and went through them.

'Carlos, where are you?' At 6:30pm.

'Baby, I'm looking everywhere. I love you.' At 7pm.

'Carlos, please. I'm worried sick. Baby, tell me where you are. Call me, please. I love you." Five minutes ago, at 7:45pm.

I decided to text back.

"Logan, I'm going home to Minnesota. I miss you. Tell Kendall, I'm sorry for what I said to him, it was uncalled for. And tell James that he was right to yell at me, I deserved it. I love you too. I hope I can see you guys soon. You don't know how much I miss you guys."

Logan PoV-

I had looked everywhere for him. Then I felt my phone go off. It was a text from Carlos. I read it and fell to the floor.

"Logan, what's wrong?" James bent down beside me.

"Carlos...has gone back to Minnesota. What have I done?"

"Aw, Logan. Come here." James sat down and hugged me.

I cried and cried until my heart's content.

"He's gone. Gone forever. Never coming back. We were thinking about getting-he didn't even say bye." I cried more.

Kendall grabbed my phone and read the rest out load.

"...Guys, we have to go after him." He ran his fingers through his hair.

"Lets go talk to your mom first and then we can go from there. C'mon, Logan. Lets go back to the crib and figure this out." James said, rubbing my shoulder.

He tried to get me to stand, but I was too depressed. So they carried me. We got to the room and they set me on the couch. I laid there and moaned. I cried more.

"Carlos..." I kept saying over and over.

"Mom!"

She came running in and looked at me. She sat down beside me and put my head on her lap. She stroked my hair.

"Someone tell me what's going on."

"Carlos has gone back to Minnesota." I cried louder at that.

"He did what! Why would he do that?"

"I guess it was because James yelled at him for hurting my feelings."

"Question!" James looked at Kendall. "What exactly did he say to you?"

"He told me, if I didn't tell him what you and me did, then we would...c-crush me to pieces." He grimaced and James put his arm around him.

"What did you two do?" Ms. Knight raised an eyebrow.

"Uh...you know what? We don't have to discuss this. We are going to Minnesota to get Carlos."

"No, you're not."

"Mom, we have to go. I mean, look at Logan. He needs him."

"I said 'no' and that's final."

I burst into more tears, saying 'no' over and over again.

"I'm sorry, honey, but I can let you boys do that. He will come back when he's ready."

"No, he wont! When Carlos does something, he does it! He's never coming back!" I ran out the door.

I leaned my back against the wall and fell to the floor. I heard the door open, it was James. He closed the door behind him and stood in front of me.

"Come here." He held out his arms.

James PoV-

He stood up and came into my arms.

"I miss him, James. I don't know what I'm going to do without him..." He cried more. How much can one cry?

"Hey..." He looked up. "We're going to get him. Okay?" I caressed his cheek with my hand and wiped away a tear with my thumb.

"How? Ms. Knight said-"

"We have a plan."

"And what's that?"

"Don't worry about it. We have everything under control." I smiled.

"I miss his kisses. I could use one right now." He laid his head back on my chest.

"Well...will mine do?"

"What?" He was shocked.

"I mean...just something to keep you going, until we get him back."

"I don't know..."

"Just try it. It always helped me. Camille helped me when I was lonely. It doesn't have to mean anything, just a simple kiss."

"Okay..."

I bent down and pressed my lips against his. He parted his lips. He started walking backwards, gripping my shirt, and pulling me closer. I wanted to stop; no needed to stop, but something inside wouldn't let me. By now, my lips were parted and my hands making their way to his butt, caressing it, making him closer to me.

We weren't suppose to take it this far; we both knew this, but we couldn't stop. It seemed at this point and time, all of our worries faded away. I finally found the strength to stop.

"Why did you stop?" He said, biting his lips and running his finger down the center of my chest.

"This isn't right. I love Kendall and you love Carlos. We cant love eachother." He sighed at this.

"Carlos! He gasped, coming out of his trance. "We have to put that plan into action, now!"

"Okay, I'll get Kendall and meet you at Rocque Records." He smiled and left.

I went back inside to get Kendall and he looked at me like I had done something wrong.

"What?"

"You kissed him...didn't you?"

"N-No...what makes you say that?" Damn, I cant lie!

"Your lips are redder than usual and they always looked like that when I kiss you."

"He needed it. He misses Carlos' kisses, so I did it to make him fell better. It meant nothing. I felt nothing." I wish I could say that was true.

"Oh, okay. Well, if it meant nothing to you..." He wrapped his arms around me. "...kiss me."

"I-I cant. We have to meet Logan at the studio."

"James..."

We went to the studio and talked to Gustavo.

"We need three plane tickets to Minnesota." We all said.

"Why?"

"Carlos moved back."

"What!"

"Yeah, so that's why we need the tickets."

"Okay."

We don't have argue with Gustavo when it comes to things like that. We got the tickets and went to the airport. We got on the plane and waited until we got to our destination. By the time we got there, it was already midnight. So we decided to call it a night and sleep at a hotel.

Kendall went to take a shower and I sat on the edge of the bed. I saw Logan running his finger through his hair and sighing. I walked over and stood in front of him.

"Logan, its okay. We're going tomorrow to Ms. Garcia's house and look for him there."

"I know but I'm not sure if he wants to see me. Does he still love me? Has he already found someone new? I need-" I grabbed his shoulders.

"Logan, its going to be okay."

"Show me! Show me that everything is going to be-"

I pressed my lips against his and shut him up. I pulled away.

"Better?"

"Don't stop. I need you."

We kept kissing, both of us parting our lips, and holding eachother close.

Kendall PoV-

I was in the shower, thinking, while the hot water ran down my face. He kissed Logan and said he didn't fell anything; but when I asked him to kiss me, he ran away from it.

I got out of the shower and got my clothes on. I looked in the mirror and sighed. I walked out the door, going to go forgive James, and then I looked up.

He was holding Logan tightly, kissing his neck. How could he do this to me? I backed up into the door, making a noise that startled them. James looked at me and started walking towards me. I put my hand up to stop him.

"Kendall, I-"

"How could you do this to me! I love you and this is how you treat me!" I cried.

"Its not what it looks like! I still love you...no-one else!"

"I don't believe it! You keep saying these things, but do you really mean them! You know what? I'm tired of putting up with your crap! We...are over!" I ran out the door, slamming it behind me.

I ran down a dark alley, crying my heart. I heard a voice further down the alley, so I followed it. He had his back turned.

"No, Momma. I'm fine. Really, I will come over tomorrow...okay, love you too."

I would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Carlos?"

"Kendall? What are you doing here?"

"For you. I forgive you, for everything."

"Did Logan come with you?"

"...Yeah. He and...James are back at the hotel."

He smiled and headed for the hotel, but I stopped him and shook my head.

"What's the matter?"

"...I got out of the shower and saw James kissing his neck. He was doing nothing to stop him, he was enjoying it." I felt sick. I looked at Carlos. "Carlos...I'm sorry."

"I...thought he...loved me...we were going to get...married. Why would he do this to me!" He cried.

I grabbed him before he hit the ground. I hugged him as tight as I could and cried my self.

"I...thought James...loved me...but I was wrong too. You know what? Lets go."

"Where?"

"You mom is still up, right?"

"Yeah, but I told her-"

"Hey...I think she will let us stay." I wiped away his tears with my thumb.

"Okay. Let go see my mom." He smiled weakly.

We arrived at his mom's house at two in the morning.. She opened the door and looked surprised.

"Carlos? I thought you were-"

"Little change of plans, Mom."

"Oh, hello, Kendall. What brings you here?"

"Long story..." I frowned.

"Well, we can talk about it."

We sat down at the table and we told her everything.

"Oh, I'm so sorry boys. You guys need your sleep, go to bed. You two can sleep in Carlos' old room." She smiled.

"Thank you, Ms. Garcia, for understanding." I said.

"No problem, honey. Now go." She laughed.

We got to the room and there was only one bed.

"Well, I can sleep on the floor." I smiled.

"No, there's room for both of us." I just looked at him. "Please, Kendall? I'm not used to sleeping by myself yet." He frowned.

"Oh alright. Move over." I laughed.

I rested my back on the headboard and Carlos was under my arm, with his had on my chest.

"Tell me everything's going to be okay." He teared up.

"I wish I could, hon. I wish I could."

He cried himself to sleep that night, still under my arm. I closed my eyes and started having flashbacks of the great time with James and I together. Then they started turning into nightmares. He was pushing me away to be with Logan. Saying I was just his toy, and that nothing was ever going to that, then they made love to eachother.

"No!" I woke myself up screaming.

"Well, hello there, sleepy head. Get dressed." Carlos laughed.

"I don't have any clothes, Carlos." I smiled.

"Here...um...put these on." He threw me some of his clothes.

I put on a blue and white striped tank-top, with shorts and my flip-flops. Surprisingly, they fit.

"Wow."

"What?"

"They actually fit."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I mean...not to hurt your feeling, but you're short."

"Hey!" I laughed and he hit me with a pillow, so I hit him back. "Pillow fight!" And we did, until his mom called us.

"Carlos! Kendall! You have visitors!"

"Okay, Mom! Be right down!" He laughed.

Carlos PoV-

Kendall and I ran downstairs. We stopped when we saw who was standing there.

"Logan..." I gasped.

"James..." He gasped.

"I will you boys alone. I'm going for my morning run." Momma ran out the door.

I started to go back up stairs, but someone grabbed my hand.

"Carlos, I can explain."

"Explain what? The fact that you're 'not' cheating on me! I'm done with apologizes, Logan!"

"I'm not cheating on you, Carlos. I-"

"Then how do you...explain making-out with James!" I was ready to cry.

"...I missed you and your sweet kisses. I told him that and he offered me his, as a friend, to keep me going."

"Then why did you take it so far...he was kissing your neck!" I cried.

"I forgot about everything and focused on memories of us. I forgot it was James and thought it was you. You have to believe me." He teared up.

"I want to...but I'm not sure I can."

"Carlos, no. You have to believe me."

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you...more than anything in the world."

"Kiss me."

He grabbed me into his arms and pressed his lips against mine. I parted my lips and put my hands on the back of his head, pulling him closer. He parted his lips and put his hands on my waist, making us closer than possible. He broke away.

"Now do you believe me?"

"Yeah..." I hugged him.

James PoV-

Our kisses weren't suppose to mean anything, but they did to me. I was now sad as ever.

"Is what he said true...James?" Kendall walked over to me.

"Yes...I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen."

"I'm sorry...but it doesn't explain why you were kissing his neck."

I hated to lie to him, but I had to; to keep him from getting hurt.

""I wanted to make al his worries go away. I didn't want him to hurt anymore. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"No, I'm sorry. For not believing you. I love you, James."

"I-I love you too..."

"Kiss me?"

When I kissed him, I felt nothing. There wasn't a spark anymore, it had faded away. My eyes were opened throughout the whole kiss. He broke away and hugged me tightly.

"Lets go home, guys." Logan smiled.

"My mom is going to be pissed." Kendall laughed.

"Lets meet up with my mom and we can go."

We met up with Ms. Garcia and talked.

"We're going home, Mom.

"So soon? Okay, baby. Make sure you call me everyday. Love you, boys."

"We love you too." We hugged her and left.

I was on the plane, watching Logan hold hands and laugh with Carlos. I was hurting so bad inside, I wanted to scream in pain. It was like someone jabbed a knife through my heart and left me there to die.

"Hey...what's wrong, James?" Kendall held my hand.

"Huh? Oh, N-nothing." I frowned.

"Really? Because you've been acting weird ever since we left the Palm Woods yesterday."

"I said, I'm fine!" I stood up and walked to another seat; Closing myself off to all of them.

I sat in silence until we were at our destination.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Logan PoV-

I was so happy to have Carlos back, I felt sad that I used James like that. I hated it even. He loved Kendall and I shouldn't have done that without thinking about their feelings for eachother.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you like that, Carlos. I really am."

"Don't worry about it. You did what you had to do." He smiled.

"No, Carlos. I still feel guilty. I hurt James and Kendall's relationship. I didn't want to and I'm the one that has to pay the price; not them."

"Hey..." He touched my cheek. "They are okay. Everything is okay. See..." He pointed and gasped.

I looked and James wasn't there; Kendall was alone... and crying. Why was he crying?

"Go check on him. I'll go find James."

I went down the rows and found him all the way in the back.

"James?"

"Logan!" He gasped.

"Why aren't you sitting with Kendall?"

"I couldn't stand it anymore..." He frowned.

"Couldn't stand what?" I sat next to him.

"...to see you with Carlos."

"What do you mean?" I said calmly, trying to understand.

"You know when we said our kisses didn't mean anything?"

"Yeah...?"

"Well, they did to me."

"So, what you're saying is...you're in love with both me and Kendall?"

"No..." I sighed in relief.

"For a second there, I thought you were in love with both-"

"I'm in love with you...Logan." I froze.

"I-I don't know what to say...I...uh...wow. But you kissed him Minnesota."

"Yeah, to make him happy. I felt nothing when I kissed him. There was no spark, not anymore. I know it's only been a couple of days, but I had to figure out what I wanted. I want you. I want something that will last."

His face started getting closer and his lips brushed against mine. I pushed him away and told him 'no'.

"No, James!"

"I-I'm sorry, Logan. I-"

"You need to get a hold of yourself! You love Kendall...deep down, you still love him! So get your ass out there and go sit by that sad, crying boy longing for your heart!"

"Logan, I-"

"Go...and at least look like you are happy."

"Fine."

As crazy as it sounded, he loved me. He really shouldn't, because he's just going to get hurt. He knows I love Carlos, but he's hard-headed; always has been. I snorted, shook my head, and went back towards the front.

"Kendall, I'm sorry that I snapped at you. I've just had a long and I love L-"

"Hey, its okay. I love you too." He squeezed my hand and smiled.

"No, you don't understand. I'm not in l-"

I cleared my throat, to get his attention. He looked at me and I shook my head.

"Logan, I need to tell him."

"No." I growled.

"Tell me what? James..." Kendall looked at both of us.

"That I don't love y-"

"Yodeling. He doesn't love yodeling." I laughed. "Funny, James. Very funny."

"Oh! Well, that's okay. I don't either." He laughed and looked out the window.

I looked at James and mouthed:

"Don't you dare! I will kill you!" He narrowed his eyebrows.

"We are about to land, so please stay seated. Thank you." The pilot said.

Apparently, Kendall didn't hear her. He got up and started to walk to the back.

James PoV-

"I'm gonna get me some food." Kendall got up.

I thought for a second. If we land and he's standing, he could die. I felt the plane start to go down.

"No!" I quickly got up and tackled him. "Stay down!"

We started sliding, so I grabbed a chair with my hands and another with my legs. Kendall was holding on to me for dear life. Then the plane landed as I was about to lose my grip. I got up.

"Why did you do that! You could've been killed!" I stepped out of the plane last.

"I didn't know we were going to land!"

"Yes you did! Oh, next time...Im not going to save your sorry ass!"

"Hey!" Logan slammed me into the plane with brute force. "Just because you love me and not him, does not mean you can push him around!"

"You what!" Kendall screamed.

"Uh-oh." Logan stepped back to let Kendall in front of me.

"Is that true?"

I sighed and looked away.

"It is...all this time, you loved Logan and I was just a toy!" He started to walk off.

"No, not the whole time...just since we left for Minnesota yesterday..." He turned around and ran up to me.

"Its bad enough that you don't love me anymore, but you wanted to hide it from me!" He punched my arm, which was already hurting like hell from Logan.

"I didn't want...to hurt you!" I winced in pain.

"So you kept it from me!"

"Because I knew you would act this way!"

"I swear I will-"

"Kendall! Lets go. Let Logan handle this." Carlos pulled his arm.

"This conversation isn't over!"

"Yes it is! Now go!" Logan growled.

They left and I was there alone with Logan. He was steaming mad.

"You know...you look really hot when you're mad." I smiled.

"Shut up! Just shut up, James! We may be best friends, but right now...I want to kill you!'

"Go ahead...I deserve it. I'm not me anymore, I'm someone who I don't even know."

"No one deserves to die, James. I'm not going to kill you...I just want to."

"I have nothing to live for, so it wouldn't matter."

"Yes, you do. You have a music career."

"That can be ended with just a phone call."

"You have a mom-"

"That I never see."

"And you have us. Your friends."

"You guys still want to be friends with someone like me? A jerk?"

"No matter what. Now, I want you to go apologize to him. I want you to stop loving me and love him. He has been hurt too much already."

I grabbed my shoulder and walked over to him. He took one look at me and looked away.

"Look. I'm sorry for everything that I have put you through. I'm a jerk. There, I said it. I am and always will be a jerk. Will you forgive me?" He didn't move. "Kendall?"

He turned around with his arms crossed.

"No."

"Kendall, please. I cant keep living with the guilt of hurting you like this."

"I should make you live with...but you're my best friend. So, I forgive you."

Kendall PoV-

I wanted to beat the crap out of him, but I still loved him. I didn't care what he said or what he did, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. He was my rock, my life. I couldn't live without him.

"Okay, lets go home." I smiled.

We headed home and apparently everyone was looking for us, because we were attacked with hugs.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..." James yelled, grabbing his shoulder.

I stood next to him and protected his shoulder from the bumping and shoving. We made it to the crib and saw my mom standing there.

"What did I tell you! Not to go to Minnesota, but you did it anyway!"

"Mom, we had to. Carlos was going to stay forever." She looked at him.

"He's right, Ms. Knight. I was going to stay. I wasn't coming back...at all."

"Oh, baby. Don't ever do that again. I was worried sick." She hugged him.

She hugged me, Logan, and then James.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..."

"What happened to you, honey?"

"I...uh...fell?"

"Mhm...Like I believe that. Okay, you don't have to tell me. We just have to get you to a doctor."

"I don't want to go to the doctor." He moaned.

"You're going."

"Yes, ma'am." I laughed at that.

"Looks like Mom wins." I smiled and shoved his shoulder.

"OW!"

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry. I totally forgot about it." I kept touching his shoulder, by accident.

"Kendall!"

"Yeah?"

"Stop touching me...please!"

"Sorry."

"Sokay." He smiled weakly.

We got to the doctor's office and I walked back with James. They took x-rays and came back with results.

"Well, you didn't break it. You just bruised it really bad. Tell me...how did this happen?"

"I got into a fight. I don't want to go into the details." He frowned.

"That's fine. I'm going to go talk to Ms. Knight and you guys will be ready to go."

James smiled and the doctor left. He let out a sigh of relief. I put my hand on his knee and smiled.

"At least its not broken."

"Yeah, but it still hurts."

"Its going to, hon—I mean, James." I rubbed the back of my head as he laughed "Sorry."

He was enjoying my screw ups. I was so used to calling him 'honey' or 'baby', but since he doesn't love me anymore, I have to call him 'James'.

"Its okay." He smiled.

"Okay, boys. You can go home now." He doctor smiled.

We went home and sat on the couch.

Carlos PoV-

I sat at the table and ate some corndogs. I was still shocked that James was in love with my Logan...MY Logan. Well, you know what? He cant have him. Logan loves me, not him...at least I think.

"Logan?" I whispered.

"What?" He whispered back.

"You love me, right?"

"More than anything...why?"

"Just wondering."

Well, that's cleared up. Now we just have to get James to fall in love with Kendall again, which is going to be hard. Unless...we put Kendall in danger, then James will save him, and figure out how much he loves him. Its full proof!

"I figured out how we can get them two back together." I kept my voice low.

"How?" So did he.

I told him my plan and his jaw dropped. I closed it, but it opened again.

"What?" I asked Logan.

"Carlos, you know I love you, right?"

"Yeah...?"

"But you're crazy! How are we going to do that?"

"Um...with this!" I grabbed a banana.

"A banana? Really, Carlos? How are you-"

"Watch." I threw it at Kendall's head.

"Ow! What the-Carlos! Why did you do that!"

"My bad."

"That hurt like hell! Don't do it again." He rubbed his head.

"Okay..." I looked back at Logan.

"What made you think that would work?" He laughed.

"I don't know...It was worth a shot." I shrugged.

"It'll be okay..." He patted my shoulder.

"Hey!" I laughed.

"Lets change stragedy. Instead of hitting Kendall with bananas or putting him in danger, lets-"

"I got it! We'll put Kendall in the pool area, buy a ginormous bird to fly down and grab him up-"

Carlos-" I put my finger up to stop him.

"Then the bird will carry him off to an unknown place and it try to eat Kendall just when James comes to save him." I smiled.

Logan chuckled and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Problems with that, honey." He said.

"What?"

"One, where are we going to find a bird big enough to carry Kendall? And two, if its an unknown place...how will James find him?" He smiled.

"He follows it...duh!"

"Okay. What about the giant bird?"

"You would have to crush a very good imagination, wouldn't you?"

"Sorry, but its true."

"Truth's a bitch." I crossed my arms.

"Better believe it, baby. Believe it." He smiled.

Kendall PoV-

I couldn't figure out what Logan and Carlos were discussing or why Carlos threw a banana at my head...which hurt like hell!

I sat there beside James. Mom was gone and left us guys alone. I wanted to tell James that I still loved him, but it wouldn't do any good. Seeming how hes in love with Logan. I blame myself for every bit of it. I should have talked to Logan before we left, not James. I could've handled myself better. None of this would've happened if I did.

"I'm sorry." I looked at James.

"For what?" He nudged my knee with his and looked at me.

"Everything...I was over-reacting. I should've listened but..." I trailed off.

"But what?" I kept silent. "Kendall?"

"But...It wouldn't have changed the way you feel about Logan...would it have?"

He sighed and looked away. I frowned and looked around. Logan and Carlos were gone.

"I wish things would've turned out differently." I laid my head on his good shoulder and sighed.

"What do you mean?" He laid his head on mine.

"I-I'm...nevermind. It doesn't mater."

"Tell me."

"It wont matter."

"Hey..." He said calmly. "I'll say if it matters. So, tell me. What's on your mind?"

"You."

"Huh?"

"I'm still in love with you. I don't care what you do or what you say. I will always love you." He sighed. " See, I told you it wont matter."

"It does matter, Kendall. Your feelings always matter. They aren't something you can avoid."

"You actually care? About my feelings?" I looked up.

"Of course." He looked at me.

Our faces weren't even an inch apart, but closer. His breath was warm and smelled good. I couldn't help but lean a bit closer and touch my lips to his. I then quickly pulled away.

"I'm sorry." I looked down.

"Don't be. I actually kind of...like it." I was shocked.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded and smiled slightly.

I asked myself. Should I kiss him again? Would it be wrong? Would it be right? What should I do?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

James PoV-

I wasn't lying, I did like it. I just didn't know how to react to the fact of he still loved me, no matter what. I have broken his heart so much, to the point its fragile. I never meant to break it so much, its just happened. I wanted to kiss him again, but I knew it was wrong. I was turning into a slut. I want both, but I love Logan and Kendall is just a toy I play with; not meaning to I just do.

"I'm a horrible person..." Kendall mumbled.

"No, you're not. What makes you say something like that?"

"...I still love you. You love Logan and I-"

"Hey, loving someone isn't bad. I'm the horrible person here. I broke your heart so many time, its now fragile."

"James...you're not a horrible person. You are just following your heart."

"And you are doing the same. Kendall, I don't care what you say, you are a great person."

"But-"

"No 'buts'."

"...Can I kiss you one more time? I want something to hold onto for a while."

I knew it was wrong, but it would make him happy. I don't like seeing him sad; it makes me want to cry.

"Yeah..." I smiled.

He leaned forward and his lips brushed against mine, hesitantly. We both parted our lips and this kiss lasted, just like the one a few days ago did, when we were madly in love. He grabbed the side of my shirt with his hand, but I moved it away.

"I'm sorry. I'm taking it too far." He frowned.

"No, you're not taking it far enough."

What was I saying? I didn't expect that to come out of my mouth! Did I really still love him? Or was I just toying again? I was toying. I'm so stupid! Why do I keep doing that!

"But-" I put my finger on his lips.

"Hey. You wanted to kiss me? Do it. Don't talk." I grinned.

He leaned forward, pushed me into the corner of the couch, and kissed me. The pain in my shoulder was killing me, but I didn't care. He was happy and that's all that mattered. He kissed my neck and went back to my lips. He looked up and smiled, but then frowned again.

"Am I taking it too far?"

"No..." I need to shut up!

He sat next to me, under my good arm. He rested his head on my chest and sighed.

"We've had a rough couple of days. We went from madly in love...to this." He yawned, which made me yawn.

"I'm sorry about it though. I just-"

"Don't worry about it. We've put the worst behind us. Lets just focus on what we do from here. Hows your shoulder?"

"Killing me." It really was.

"I'm sorry for doing that to you on the plane. I shouldn't have gotten up."

"And I'm sorry for screaming at you like that. It was uncalled for."

"I'm tired and cold." He shivered.

"Yeah, me too. Go to sleep, Ill still be here when you wake up." I pulled a cover over us. "Better?"

"Yes. Thank you...for everything you've done for me in the past." He drew his feet up and snuggled into my side more. I stroked his head, singing softly, to help him sleep.

"There were so many things that I never ever got to say,

Cause I'm always tongue tied and my words getting in the way-

If you could read my mind,

Then all your doubts would be left behind-

And every little thing would be falling into place-

I would scream to the world,

They would see you're my girl,

But I just-

Keep gettin stuck, stuck,

But I'm never givin up, up,

In the middle of a perfect day

I'm tripping over words to say-

Cause I don't want to keep you guessing,

I always end up gettin stuck, stuck,

But I'm never givin up, up."

He was sound asleep, so I decided to take a nap myself.

Logan PoV-

We went to the pool area and relaxed.

"Or we can-"

Carlos! We are not going to put Kendall or James in danger. Get that threw your helmet and to you head." I turned around.

"Okay, gosh. I was just going to say that we can-"

"We are going to relax. That's what we're going to do. We have had none since we left the other day."

"Fine."

We sat down and drank our red slushies. A few minutes of silence past.

"Logan, I have a serious question and I want a serious answer."

"Okay? Shoot."

"When Kendall left the hotel, what did you and James do that night?"

The question shocked me to the point I choked. I coughed, patting my chest.

"What!" I looked at him.

"I want to know." He narrowed his eyebrows.

I tried to remember.

Flashback

Kendall left and James hit the floor. I walked over to him.

"James?" He looked up. "Come here." He stood up and hugged me.

"Logan, make my pain go away. I don't want to hurt anymore."

"James, I-"

"Please?" His voice was nothing but sadness.

I kissed him and he kissed back. He walked backwards and sat on the bed. He laid back and put his hands on my waist. It wasn't supposed to go so far after that, but it did.

Reality

"Logan?" I snapped out of my trance.

"I'm sorry. What?"

"What...did...you...do?"

"Well, you know. The usual."

"Like what?"

I had to lie to him. I couldn't let him find out that I had taken James' virginity.

We...uh...heh...talk." I snorted.

"About what?"

"Kendall and you. We wanted to...um...figure out what we were going to...say...to...you." My voice squeaked.

It did the same thing when I asked Camille to the dance about a year ago. She dumped me after that and then I figured out that Carlos loved me.

Oh! Okay, well you did a very good job talking to me. I guess it worked, because I'm here." He laughed.

"Yeah. James was really beat up from Kendall leaving...and...uh...whoa!" I got sidetracked.

A brown haired, long faced boy walked by. He was cute! Looked to be about six foot, maybe taller. Thin and had huge biceps.

"Hello, I'm new here and I was wondering. Where might the front desk be?" He had a British accent. One word... Sexy.

"I...uh...I mean, its...oh-" I was dreaming.

"Its that way. I'm Carlos and my day-dreaming friend here, is Logan. You are?"

"Brighton. Brighton Oliver. Nice to meet you." He smiled. Gosh, it was heavenly!

"Like wise." They shook hands.

He walked away and my eyes followed.

"Logan...you're drooling."

I snapped out of the gaze I was in and wiped my mouth.

"Sorry."

"Its okay. He was cute, just not my type."

"And what exactly is your type?" I smirked.

"You." I blushed and he kissed my cheek. "I'm going to go talk to him."

"I'm coming with!" I said a bit more enthusiastic than need be.

I jumped up and hit my knee on the corner of the table.

"Ow!" Carlos laughed.

We walked to the lobby and saw him talking Katie. He looked up and smiled.

"Hey, Katie was just telling me about you two. Congrats." He hugged both of us.

"For what?" I asked.

"Getting married."

"We're not married, yet."

"I know. So, Katie was telling me about James and Kendall?"

"Yeah, lets go. Wait! We never told anyone about that." I stopped and looked at Katie.

"Uh...I did. I told Kendall." Carlos raised his hand.

"And Kendall told me." Katie said.

"We were going to keep it a secret, Carlos."

"I was very emotional at the time!" He frowned.

"You still are."

He glared and looked away, I laughed. We went upstairs and opened the door quietly. They were asleep, so I told everyone to hush. We walked carefully trying not to make a sound, but then the floor squeaked. The next thing I know, there was a knife flying past my head and stuck in the door.

"What the-"

"Shh...he's sleeping."

"You threw a freakin knife at my head."

"Sorry. Who is that?"

"I'm Brighton Oliver."

"Hi, I'm James. This is Kendall. He's had a long couple of days and so have I."

James PoV-

My neck was so tense. I rubbed the back of it and stroked Kendall's hair.

"Neck hurt?" I nodded. "Here. Let me."

Brighton walked over and stood behind me. He put his hands on my neck and massaged it. He pressed his thumbs in and it felt good. I moaned and he laughed.

"What? It feels good."

"No, its not that. I don't see how someone could be so tense. I mean, I have massaged a lot of tense people, but you've got to be the worst."

"If you were in my shoes these past few days, you would be too...ow. Please watch the shoulder, I bruised it badly."

"Sorry. Do you want to talk about it? It usually helps to get it off your chest to someone."

"Yeah, I guess so. Logan? Carlos? Can you leave, please?"

"Sure. Lets go, Logan. Logan!" Carlos punched his arm.

"Wh-What?"

"Lets go." Then they left.

I told Brighton everything that happened the past few days. Even what happened between Logan and I in the hotel that night.

"Wow, no wonder you're so tense. You know they're going to get married, right?"

"Who?"

"Logan and Carlos."

"They're what!" I was now pissed off. "They didn't even tell me!"

"James?" Kendall woke up.

"Its okay, honey. Go back to sleep." I stroked his head until he fell back asleep. "I swear, I am-"

"Hey, James? You need to chill. Hon, you're tensing up again."

"I'm sorry. Its just-wait. You called me 'hon'. Are you...?"

"Yeah, I am. I just don't like to say anything about it, because apparently it not the 'right way' of life and people criticize me with it."

"Its okay. No one here is going to do that, but yeah its just...Im in love with Logan and to think of him marrying someone else kills me, you know?"

"Its going to be okay." He said into my ear, with his lips touching my ear and his hands on my chest. I put mine on his.

"I wish I could believe that."

"You still have Kendall, James. Be happy you still have someone who loves you, no matter what."

"I guess you're right. Logan's never going to love me; it doesn't matter what I do. Kendall has always loved me and all I've done was push him away." I looked down at the peacefully sleeping blonde.

"Right. Now, you need to take off your shirt and lay on the floor, on your stomach. I need to get deep into your neck for you to feel any better."

"Okay." I carefully moved Kendall and got up.

I took my shirt off and laid on the floor. He sat on my back and dug his thumbs into my neck. He wasn't heavy, he was quite light actually. He hit a sore spot on my neck and I growled.

"Right there?"

"M-Hm."

It was a good pain. I moaned and he laughed.

"Where did you-learn to do this?"

"Family business in Minnesota."

"You're from Minnesota?"

"London. My family moved to Minnesota when I was little and when I turned twenty last month, I decided it was time to move out."

"So, you decided-mm-to move to California?"

"Yeah, its warmer. I mean, I love cooler weather, but I wanted something different, you know?"

"Same here. We moved here for a music career, though." I smiled.

"You sing?"

"In a band. Big Time Rush?"

"I don't think I have ever heard of it. Sorry. Can you sing a bit?" He stopped.

"Wait a minute,

Before you tell me anything, how was your day?

Cause I been missing you by my side.

Did I awake you out of your dream?

I'm sorry but I couldn't sleep."

"That's was wonderful."

"Nah, Kendall is better." I laughed.

"Hold on. Is Kendall's last name, Knight?" He began again.

"Yeah-ow. Why?"

"Sorry. No reason, just wondering. Well, I think we're done here." He got up. "How do you feel?" I got up.

I flexed my shoulders and moved my neck around.

"Oh my gosh, I think you fixed my shoulder! I feel great. You have magic fingers." I pointed like an idiot and poked his stomach.

"James?" I heard Kendall wake up as I put on my shirt. "What's going on?"

"Well, hello there, sleepy head." I laughed and he smiled.

"Who's your friend?"

"I'm Brighton."

"Hi. I'm Kendall."

"Kendall Knight?"

"Yeah?"

"Its me. Brighton Oliver, from Minnesota?"

"I-"

"Here. Watch." He made the goofiest face imaginable.

Kendall's eye lit up so bright and he smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kendall PoV-

I couldn't believe it. It was Brighton. I've known him since we were little; it's been so long! He was the new kid in Minnesota. He was always being teased and picked on because of his accent; I was his only friend. Yeah, James, Logan, and Carlos picked on him too.

"It's been so long! C'mon, we have so much to catch up on." I grabbed his hand sat on the couch. "How have you been?"

"Wonderful." I looked over at James and he frowned.

"What's wrong, James?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I just have to go think for a bit." He walked out the door.

"Okay..." I didn't know what his problem was.

"James told me everything that happened and I'm sorry. Sorry that he hurt you like that. What did you say when he told you about what him and Logan at the hotel that night?"

"What did they do?"

"He didn't tell you? Hm..."

"Then tell me."

"Okay, well let's just say...James is no longer a virgin."

I was about ready to cry. He-How could Logan do that! Sure, James insisted it, but Logan could've stopped it! Does Logan love Carlos as much as he says he does? There were so questions to be answered!

"Does Carlos know?"

"I really don't know, Kendall."

"I have to tell him! He needs to know before he gets married to the bastard!"

I got up and went to Carlos' room. I kept banging on the door and Logan answered. I glared at him and pushed past him. I stood next to Carlos, who was looking through a flower book.

"Kendall, what flowers do you think we should use?" He smiled.

"You might want to hold off the wedding plans, Carlos." Brighton leaned against the door.

"Why?" I glared at Logan.

"I don't know...tell him Logan. Why should he?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Kendall." Logan looked confused.

"Really? What about back in Minnesota? The hotel? Tell him what you did."

"Oh that? Logan already told me. They talked about you and me."

"That's what he told you?" Carlos nodded. "Oh my gosh! I cant believe you lied to him! How was it?"

"How was what?" Logan chuckled.

"You know...your 'talk'." I air-quoted.

"Why did he air-quote? Logan, what's going on?" Carlos stood up.

"Tell him, or I will!" I glared at Logan, who sighed and looked away.

"Kendall...whats going on?"

"Carlos, you know when you and I were at your mom's and Logan was with James...alone in the hotel?"

"Yeah?"

"Logan is no longer a virgin..."

"I know that. Neither am I. What does this-"

"And no longer is James..." His eyes grew huge.

"No...Logan. Please tell it isn't true." Logan sighed and looked away, again. "No...GET OUT!" He pointed to the door and Brighton moved out of the way.

"Carlos, I-"

"Damn it, Logan! Get out of my room! Now!" Carlos growled and Logan left.

I nudged my head to Brighton, telling him to go with Logan and he nodded then left.

Carlos PoV-

No! He lied to me! I threw the book against the wall and sat on the floor, pulling my knees to my chest.

"Carlos, I'm sorry." Kendall put his arm around me.

"No, I'm sorry...for ever believing that that bastard loved me. I'm-"

"Lets go away."

"What?" I sniffed.

"Just and me. We can-"

"No, Kendall. I'm tired of running."

Okay then. It was just a suggestion."

"A great one, but I'm tired of running away from my problems." I frowned.

"I hear ya on that one, my friend." He laughed.

"Kendall, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you love James?"

"Yes...forever and always."

"Does he love you?"

"...No."

"I guess we're the same. Heh...what happened to us? We're all falling apart."

"I don't know, but it'll all be straightened out in time, Carlos." He hugged me.

"How can you be so sure?" I snuggled into him.

"I don't know. I guess I just have hope."

"I love you, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I do. I love you too."

I know what you're thinking; 'Oh my gosh! They love eachother! Now they need to kiss!' No! Not like that! Kendall is like the brother I never had. We are tighter than glue sticking two pieces of paper together. He's always been there for me and I don't know if I could survive without him. So get your dirty little minds cleaned; its never going to happen!

"I'm tired of being hurt. I just want to crawl into a corner and die." I said.

"Don't say that, you don't want to die. Just think, if you died, who would goof around wearing a hockey helmet and eating corndogs ALL the time? No one, because that's your thing. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here anymore." He kissed the top of my head.

"I guess you're right." I laughed. "What's time is it?"

"Time to go to bed." I just looked at him. "Midnight."

"Already? Damn, this day went by fast."

"C'mon, go to bed. You need your sleep." Kendall smiled.

"Stay?"

"Sure. I might not sleep because I took a nap earlier, but I will stay." I smiled back at him.

He rested his back against the headboard and I snuggled into his side. He was so warm, I shivered. He pulled me closer and sighed.

"What's wrong?" I looked up.

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Just thinking." He looked at me.

"About?"

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Yeah, I was trying to be annoying, it was fun.

"Carlos..." He breathed heavily. "Are you seriously going there?"

"Yes." I snickered, looked up, and saw him raising one of his think eyebrows, smiling.

"Go to sleep, Carlos."

"Okay...Good night."

"Good night." Then I feel asleep.

Logan PoV-

"Why, Logan?" Brighton asked.

"Why what?" I was trying to avoid the subject.

"You know what. You were going to marry him in a few months, why did you do it?"

"I don't know...it just happened. James and I would kiss and neither of us can find the will to stop. We know its wrong, but-"

"You love him..."

"No! Wh-What makes you say something like that?"

"So he's your toy?"

"Okay! I admit it! He's my toy; I toy with him! I don't love him, I love Carlos. James just fills in for when Carlos is absent or gone. He means nothing to me! I-"

"I really mean nothing to you, huh?" James came around the corner.

"James, I didn't mean-"

"No, its okay. I knew you didn't love me, but I just didn't know that I meant nothing to you...how could you say that after all these years?"

"James, you're still my best friend! I just-"

"Really? Then why? Why did you say I was nothing!"

"I'm going to go..." Brighton ran out the door.

"I didn't mean it like that! You know it!"

"No, I don't! I really don't, Logan!"

"Idiot!" I got into his face.

"Bastard!"

I then got this urge to kiss him. So without thinking, I did.

Our lips smashed together and we kissed. It was aggressive, strong, and meaningless; I couldn't stop. Neither of us could. By now, we were walking towards a door, with our lips still together. James opened and closed the door behind him, pressing me against the wall. He slid his and mine shirt off, then by the next few seconds we were in our boxers. He slid his hands down my torso and to my waist. He clenched down with his nails into my skin, which made me groan. I put my hands through his hair and made fists.

"I hate you..." I managed to say in-between breaths.

"I know..." Then we kissed again.

I walked backwards and laid him on the bed. I was on top and then he flipped me over so that he was now. He put his hands in my boxers and began exploring. It felt so good, that I started getting harder by the second.

He was exploring every inch of me. It was so wrong, but it felt so right. I wanted him so bad, it hurt. I knew I wasn't in love with him, but we were so good together. My body fitted against his like a puzzle piece, it was like its suppose to be. He clenched down with his nails and I moaned loudly. He laughed seductively.

"Why...Why do...we do this?" I managed to say in-between my growing faster breaths.

"I don't know...but I know its wrong and feels so right." He started feather kissing my chest.

He started at my waist line and made his way to my neck. I dug my nails into his shoulders and leaned my head back. I was growing harder by the second and my were breaths getting faster. He snickered and hooked my knee to his waist. He kissed my lips forcefully and licked my bottom lip, teasing me to let him in. I parted my lips and our tongues wrestled. It lasted all night.

James PoV-

I woke up the next morning, with Logan snuggled into my arms asleep. Last night was great, the best experience I have ever had in my life. Hell, it was only my second experience, but the best. Anyway, I needed this. I know it hurt everyone else, but it wasn't my fault. Was it?

I got out of bed and Logan woke up. I got my clothes on as he watched me. I looked over at him. He was biting his lip and staring at me.

"What?"

"Oh nothing. Just wondering...why did you put your clothes back on?"

"Well, I have to go. That's why. I need to go check on Carlos and Kendall...and I want you, to stay here." I kissed him and left.

I closed the door behind me and turned around, to see Kendall standing there with his arms crossed.

"You two just don't know when to stop, do you?"

"I-"

"Have you seen Carlos? Its killing him."

"Kendall-"

"I don't want to hear it, James. You go anywhere near Carlos, so help me you will not like the outcome." He narrowed his thick eyebrows.

"And what will that outcome be?"

He grimaced and walked away. So, talking to Carlos is out of the question or maybe I could do it without Kendall knowing. Yeah, it just might work. So I went to Carlos' room and knocked on the door. He answered and grimaced.

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk."

"No." He started to close the door, but I stopped it. "James, I really don't want-"

"Just hear me out, okay? I just want to get things straightened out."

"Fine. Come in." He let me in. "Talk."

"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry. I know that its hurting you and...And I'm sorry."

"That's all you had to say? You're sorry! James, I have heard a lot of low things, but that's the lowest. You keep doing it and wont stop. You come say you're sorry, but you will just go do it again. Why do you say things that aren't true?"

"Carlos, I-I cant help it!"

"Yes you can. Stay away from him!"

"I cant! I-"

"Stay away from him, James! Or so help me..."

"Fine! I will try."

"No, you wont try...you will do it."

I left the room and Logan was standing there.

"Hey, what-"

I walked away from him and went to the pool. Camille was sitting next to it and glanced up at me.

"Hey James. What's wrong?" I sat next to her and sighed.

"Nothing. Everytime I see Logan, I just want to...you know."

"I don't blame you. He is very attractive and charming."

"Then why did you dump him?"

"I knew he loved Carlos. He never took his eyes off of him for a second to look at me. He was always rescheduling our dates to spend time with him."

"So he really does love him..."

"Yes and you love Kendall, James. You just need to figure it out, without doing 'you know what' to Logan everytime you see him." She frowned.

"I really do...I just don't know how, Camille. I think deep down, I still love Kendall, but I just haven't found where yet. You know?"

"Yeah, but you just need time. Time works in many ways. It worked for me, to dump Logan so he could be with Carlos."

"Gee, thanks. In other words, I should take time, by myself, to figure out how much I love Kendall?"

"Yes! Wow, you're slow." Then Jo came up. "Hey, Jo. What's up?"

"Nothing. I was just seeing what's wrong with him."

"I'm going to go. I'll catch you girls later." I got up and left.

I went to the lobby, where Katie usually is. I was going to talk to her, but she wasn't there.

"Bitters, where's Katie?"

"Ms. Knight and her went out of town for a week. She told me to tell you boys that."

"Thanks."

I went to the park and thought for hours. If I didn't love Kendall, then why would I spend my time with him? If I didn't love him, why would I be so jealous of Brighton? Yes, I was jealous of him. He gets all of Kendall's attention. They may have not seen eachother in forever, but...I really needed to figure myself out before I hurt anyone else. Do I choose Logan or Kendall? A few minutes later, I made up my mind.

"James..."

"Kendall! What are you-?" He startled me.

"I'm sorry that I went off on you like that earlier. I just had a lot on my mind and-"

"Don't worry about it. Sit, please. I have to tell you something..."

"Okay." He sat down.

"I..."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kendall PoV-

I was scared of what he was going to say. He held my hand and looked me in the eyes. My heart started racing like crazy.

"I...I love you. It took me time to figure it out, but I realize that I do and I was hoping you would maybe take me back?"

"After what you've done, you have the nerve to ask me something like that!" I stood up. "No, I wont! Not until I'm absolutely sure you're over Logan." I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the hotel.

"Kendall, I cant get near Logan."

"Why not?"

"Carlos told me to stay away from him."

"When?"

"...This morning." He looked away.

"I specifically told you, not to talk to Carlos! Why don't you ever listen to me!"

"I had to straighten things out. I couldn't leave-"

"But you left me! You left me for someone you knew wasn't going to love you. You've done a lot of things to me, but I am never going to forgive you for that!"

"I don't blame you. I am...whoa." He lost his balance.

"James, are you okay?"

"Yeah...I just feel a little light...headed." Then he collapsed.

"James!" He didn't respond. James! Wake up! James, don't do this to me!" I began CPR.

I started pumping his chest and breathing air into him. He couldn't die, not now! I called and ambulance and they showed up in no time.

"Kendall, what happened!" Carlos and Logan came running out.

"I was talking to him and he just collapsed. James..."

They lifted him into the van and I got in with him.

"We'll meet you there!" They closed the doors and we rode to the hospital.

"James, if you can hear me...Im sorry!"

We arrived at the hospital and they took him straight to the emergency room. I had to wait in the waiting room. A few minutes later, Carlos and Logan showed up.

"They took him to the ER. He...We need to call my mom."

"I'll call her. You're too upset." Carlos called her. "She's on her way."

At least ten minutes past and the doctor finally came in. I stood up and he just looked at me. My heart sank.

"He's...?"

"He's in critical condition. We don't expect him to make it through the night."

"No...Can we see him?" He nodded.

We went to the room and he was hooked up to a breathing machine and IVs. I sat next to him and grabbed his hand. I looked over at Carlos and Logan; Carlos was about to cry.

"I'm sorry. Excuse me." He ran out and Logan followed.

I leaned my forehead against our hands. I felt tears run down my face.

'You don't know how much you love someone, until something bad happens to them.' Someone told me. It was true, I loved him. Forever and always...For eternity.

"James, if you can hear me. I love you. You are my life, the gravity that holds me to the ground, and I cant live without you. So please...please wake up."

I sat there, praying that he would wake up. Then I felt him move his fingers.

Carlos PoV-

He was dying. My last words I said to him were...I didn't even get to say I was sorry. Seeing him lay there, hooked up to all those machines...

"You okay?"

"He's dying, Logan." I hugged him and buried my face into his chest. I let the tears run down my face.

"Boys...Where is he?" Ms. Knight ran up to us.

"He's in there." Logan pointed.

We walked into the room and saw Kendall was asleep, with his fingers entwined with James'.

"Kendall, honey, wake up. We have to go." Ms. Knight shook him lightly and he groaned, then went back to sleep. She tried to move his hand away from James and he jumped. "Honey, we have to go."

"No, I'm not leaving him."

"Kendall, you need to go home and get your rest."

"I said 'no', Mom. The doctor said he might not make it through the night and I'm going to be here if he does wake." He tightened his grip.

"And if he doesn't...?"

"How could you even think like that!"

"Kendall..."

"Get out! All of you!"

"Kendall!"

"I said go!" I heard a growl come from his throat, which scared me.

"I'm going to leave my truck just in case you change your mind." Logan laid the keys on the table.

We left and started driving home. I closed my eye and drifted off to sleep.

Logan PoV-

I couldn't believe that today would be my last day I see James. I told him he meant nothing to me. He didn't believe me when I told him he was still my best friend. I never got to apologize. I used him and I was regretting every second of it.

"I'm so sorry, James." I said to myself.

"Logan, honey, its going to be okay. He's going to be okay...I hope."

"I'm not sure about that. If he doesn't make it through the night..." I trailed off, not wanting to think about it.

"Well, we're home. So wake up Carlos and I will get his room around."

I wasn't going to wake him, he was exhausted. I got out quietly and went to his side of the van. I opened his door and scooped him into my arms. He wasn't heavy at all. He mumbled and snuggled into my chest. I missed this; the feeling of him against me and the feeling of his warmth...I screwed up big time. He'll never trust me again...He'll always suspect me of cheating. I arrived at room 2J and pushed the door open with my foot. Ms. Knight already had Carlos' door open, so all I had to do was lay him down. As I laid him down, he clenched my shirt tighter. I tried to move it away, but it started waking him up. So I lie beside him and fell asleep.

I woke up to my phone vibrating; I looked at the caller ID and at the clock.

"Kendall, its four in the morning. Wh-"

"Its James! Get here now!"

"I'm on my way." I whispered and shut my phone.

I snuck out the house and took Kendall's car to the hospital. I met Kendall in the waiting room.

"Kendall, I came as fast as I could. Is he okay?"

"No! He flat-lined again." He cried.

"Oh god! Have the doctor's diagnosed him with anything yet?"

"I don't know. I'm scared, Logan." He hugged me.

"I know; me too." I hugged back.

"Boys..." The doctor came in.

"How is he?" Kendall ran to him.

"He's stable again. We took some x-rays and found a tiny snap in his neck, which is causing his problems. Has anything been done to his neck recently?" Then I remembered.

"Brighton."

"What?" Kendall looked at me.

"Brighton massaged James' neck the other day. He may have done something and didn't know it."

"I'm going to kill him." Kendall growled.

"Now, now, lets not jump to any conclusions. It could've been a number of things." The doctor looked at Kendall.

"Can I see him?"

"I'm afraid not. You need to go home."

"I'm not leaving him!"

"Kendall, c'mon. They'll take care of him."

I dragged him out to the truck and shoved him in. I drove back to the hotel and parked the truck.

"Kendall, he's going to be okay. I promise."

"Brighton did this."

"No, you heard-"

We saw Brighton walked in front of the truck. Kendall got out so fast; if you blinked, you'd miss it.

Kendall PoV-

I smashed Brighton against the wall.

"You did this to him!"

"Did what!"

"You killed James!"

"He's dead!"

"Mind as well be! He can wake up! You snapped his neck!"

"Kendall, I didn't hurt him! I swear!"

"Then how do you explain him being on the verge of death! You were the last one..."

"We're pals, Kendall. You have to believe me!"

"Were pals...If he dies, you'll be the first one I go to." I let him go.

"Kendall, come on." Logan grabbed my shoulder.

I glared at Brighton, grabbed Logan's keys, and ran inside. I sat on the couch, pulled my knees to my chest, and prayed.

"God, if you're listening. Please let him love. I don't know what I would be without him. I'll do anything, just please...please help him through this." I cried.

I really care about James, now more than ever. I wanted to be with him now. He needs me and I need him. I feel asleep thinking and woke up four hours later. The phone rang, so I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Dr. Matts, from the hospital. James is awake, for how long I don't know, but you may come see him."

"I'm on my way."

Everyone was still asleep, so I grabbed Logan's truck keys and eased out the house. I drove to the hospital and went to James' room. He was staring at the wall, blankly. I knocked on the door and smiled.

"Hey. How you doing?" I sat next to him.

"Been better." He snickered.

"Well, that's good."

"One question. Um...Who are you?" I couldn't move; those words stabbed my heart like a knife.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kendall PoV-

"Its me. Kendall, your boyfriend? Or at least I thought I was."

"I don't know a Kendall. Only Logan, Carlos, and Camille. I-"

"No..." I started tearing up.

"Gotcha!"

"What?"

"I was just messing with ya." He laughed, but then coughed.

"Don't do that again, James. You scared the shizz out of me."

"Shizz...really?"

"What?"

"Nothing. So, how have you been dealing with all this?"

"Not too well..." He grabbed my hand.

"Hey, I'm going-" A dose of morphine shot through. "-to be okay. And the doctor's told me that I died twice already." He laughed, but I didn't think it was funny.

"Its not funny." I frowned.

"What?"

"James, when you died those two times, I thought about killing myself. I couldn't live with you gone forever. I just couldn't."

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry."

James PoV-

I was so weak, but I had to hide it from Kendall. I couldn't let him see me like that, he's been through enough pain already. I was happy we were back together again, I really was I loved him, I just had to open my eyes to reality and see it.

"Maybe I should die for good." I frowned.

"Don't ever say or think something like that! Why would you even...?"

"All the things I've done...I deserve it. I'm a selfish, slutty, jerk who only cares about himself. I-"

"And I see none of that, well maybe the jerk part, but that's not my point." I gasped. "My point is, James...you don't need to end your life over stuff that can be fixed...right, Logan?"

Logan came around the corner and rubbed the back of his head.

"How did you-?" I pointed.

"I kind of figured he was in the truck, when he didn't come in last night."

"Can I talk to James for minute, alone?" Logan asked.

"Sure, I'm going to go call Mom and tell her you're awake." Kendall kissed me and left.

"Wow, you two made up quick."

"Yeah...So how are you and Carlos?"

"We're not. He cancelled the wedding plans and he's not talking to me." He sat down and frowned.

"I'm sorry, Logan. What happened?"

"We happened, James. He found out about us and...And can we not speak about this right now?"

"Sure, man. So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I think I'm kind of happy that the wedding's off."

"Why? You were so psyched about it at first."

"Yeah, because I didn't know what was at stake. I mean, if we got married and moved away, we could lose you guys. We'll always fight and I cant handle that."

"I understand, but you're not going to lose us. We're best friends, until the end and not all married couples fight, Logan." I smiled.

"But how do you know? If I-"

"You need to experiment. You need to try to get him back before you lose him forever."

"How? How do I do that, if he's not even talking to me?"

"Who said he has to talk? Make him listen. Tell him you love him, how you feel, don't hold anything back. If it doesn't work the first time, try and try again."

"Thanks, I will. I'm glad we talked." We both smiled and he started to leave.

"Hey! Look, I'm sorry. I've been a jerk and I didn't mean to come between you guys. I'm sorry I fell in love with you, knowing you wouldn't love me. I-"

"Its okay, Ja-"

"No, its not. I'll never forgive myself for it, ever. I-"

"Enough, James. Its okay, really. Now I'm going to go. I have a man to get back." He went to the door.

"Hey!" He looked back. "Thank." He smiled and left

I closed my eyes and everything went black.

Logan PoV-

James gave me something to go on. He kept saying he was sorry. I should be the one apologizing. Well, you know what? I've already had this talk with myself and I'm not having it again.

"Kendall, I need my keys back, man." I held out my hand.

"Oh shoot. I left them in his room." He felt his pockets.

"I will go get them." I smiled and went back.

I grabbed the keys and he was asleep. I put my hand on his and they were ice cold. I got worried.

"James?" I shook him and he didn't respond. "James! Hey! We need a doctor in here, now!" I yelled out the door.

They rushed in and did a little CPR, then they brought out a defibulator.

"Charge to two-hundred! Clear!" They shocked him, nothing. "Charge to three! Clear!" And again.

The monitor started beeping again, which was a relief. I sighed.

"Doc! That's been the third damn time! Fix him!" Kendall screamed.

"We-"

"Damn it! Do it now!"

"We need your mom's signature."

"It cant wait that long. I will sign."

"Are you over eighteen?"

"I'm twenty-one, Doc."

Kendall signed the papers and they prepped James for surgery. I walked outside and saw Ms. Knight and Carlos.

"They're prepping James for surgery now."

"Oh god. Carlos go back with Logan and check up on Katie for me, please?"

"I don't want to go with him. I want to see James." He frowned.

"I know, honey, but please. I will take care of it."

He looked at me, growled, and went to wait in the truck. I got to the truck and just sat there. I leaned my head against the window and sighed. I looked over at Carlos and he was just staring out the window, with his arms crossed.

"Carlos, I-"

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why did you cheat on me?" He kept staring out the window.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

"What?" He looked at me.

"I don't know!" I hit the steering wheel, which made him jump. "I love you and I want to make things right again. I just don't know how."

"What happened to us? We were going to get married and then it all just fell apart. Just like that." He snapped his fingers.

I didn't answer. I started the engine and drove down the rode, in silence. I was watching the rode, when I felt something against me. I glanced down and it was Carlos, leaning his body against mine. I put my arm around him and smiled.

"Carlos, I'm sorry that I've been hurting-"

"You haven't been hurting me, Logan. You've been killing me. Every morning I wake up and you're not there. Not being in your arms, kills me. Instead, you put James in my place. That's what hurts the most."

"I'm sorry. I just-I..."

"Spit it out, Logan. I want to heat it."

"I want us. I want you. I don't want you to hurt any longer. It just kills me to see you heartbroken. So, I'm stopping what I did and I'm keeping you close forever. I don't want to lose you again."

"Promise?" His voice sounded like a little child's.

"I promise, Carlos." I kissed the top of his head as we arrived at the hotel.

Carlos PoV-

I did love him, I just...I needed him. He finally opened his eyes and realized it. Everything that's been going on, I don't know what to do anymore. I wanted to see James; I never got to talk to him, never got to say I was sorry. I never meant to hurt his feeling like that. We arrived at 2J and everyone was standing there, looking at us; Jo, Camille, Gustavo, Kelly, Katie, and even Brighton.

"How is he?" Kelly asked.

"They're prepping him for surgery. They found a tiny snap in his neck that's causing..." Logan trailed off.

"Causing what?"

"Him to...die." Everyone gasped.

I felt sick. I didn't like hearing that. It hurt so much.

"Excuse me..." I ran to my room and locked the door. I heard a knock on it, but I ignored it.

"Carlos, open up."

"I want to be alone, Logan!" I didn't hear anything after that. "I'm an idiot!"

I threw a book at the wall and a piece of paper fell out. I stood and picked it up. It was titled, 'Carlos'. I opened it and it was from James.

'Carlos, I'm sorry I hurt you like that. I wasn't thinking when I fell in love with Logan. I didn't think about what it would do to you. I hope you will forgive me, I really do and I hope you will forgive Logan. He's always loved you and always will. I was just his toy for when you were gone or absent. He really misses you and I want you guys to be happy together, so I've stopped seeing him like that. If anything happens to me in the future, promise me you will take care of Kendall. You're like a brother to me and I don't want to lose that between us. So, Thanks. Love ya, James.' I read.

"I'm sorry, James. I didn't know. I never should've yelled at you like that. I'm such an idiot!" I read the letter over and over, until I fell asleep.

I woke up and it was already five in the afternoon. I felt that the letter wasn't in my hands any longer. I searched everywhere; I turned my room inside out looking for it. Logan came in and looked at my room, then back at me.

"Carlos, I know you were upset, but geesh. Did you have to destroy your room?"

"My letter! Where is it!"

"Oh this? You fell asleep with it in your hands. Here." He handed it to me.

"How did you get in here?" I hugged the paper.

"I picked the lock. I was worried and I-" I hugged him.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not believing you when you said you loved me forever and always. Have you heard anything?"

"He's out of surgery and is sleeping off the anesthesia. He should be awake in a few hours. We can go see him then."

"How's Kendall?" I backed away.

"He's...okay. Not so good, though."

"I should go see him. I'm borrowing your truck!" I grabbed the keys and ran to the truck.

I arrived at the hospital and hit the elevator button. I dinged and a doctor walked out. He smiled, nodded, and went on his way.

"Hello, Dr. Dreamy." I said after he was out of sight.

I stepped into the elevator and the doors almost shut, when a hand stopped them; it was Brighton.

"Hey Carlos." The doors shut.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"To see James. I'm being blamed for all of this." He frowned.

"Why?"

"I was the last one to touch his neck and everyone thinks I did something. I swear, I didn't."

"I believe you."

We got to the waiting room and Kendall was sitting down, running his fingers through his hair. We walked over and he looked up. He stood and narrowed his think eyebrows.

"What are you doing here?" He glared at Brighton.

"To see James."

"No, you're not."

"How is he?" I asked, trying not to start an argument.

"The doctor's did everything they could." He frowned. "He might be paralyzed for the rest of his life." I almost fell to the ground.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Kendall PoV-

James could be paralyzed for the rest of his life. Why him and not me? If I was awake when Brighton first came in, I could've prevented this. Its all my fault! I'm never sleeping again! I glared at Brighton.

"You're not getting anywhere near him." I growled.

"He's my friend too, Kendall. I'm going to see him."

I started after him, but Carlos stepped in front of me. Brighton stepped back a step, with fear in his eyes.

"No, Kendall. You don't have time for this. You have to focus on James." I calmed down and sat back in the chair.

I stared at the clock, watching it tick slower and slower every second. A few long hours later, the doctor came in. I stood up and he looked at me.

"I have some good news and some better news." He smiled. "Good news is, he's awake and wants to see you. Great news is he's not paralyzed. He's able to move."

"Well that's awesome. Can we go back?"

"Right this way."

We all walked back. We got to James' room and he smiled.

"Hey."

"Hey there, How you doing?" I sat next to him.

"I've been better."

"I brought you something, James." Brighton smiled.

"What's that?"

Brighton stepped forward and I growled. He stopped and reached into his pocket.

"You comb. I thought you might have wanted it." He tried to give it to him and I growled again. He handed me James' Lucky Comb and I gave it to him.

"Thanks, Bri." James smiled.

"No problem."

"What's gotten into you, Kendall?" He looked at me.

"Nothing. I'm just...tired, that's all." I entwined my fingers through his.

"No...You're growling at him. Something's bothering you. Tell me, please?" He went all puppy-dog eyes on me.

"I'll tell you later."

"Tell me now."

"I'll tell you later, honey. I promise." He sighed.

I wanted to kill Brighton for hurting James like, but there was something holding me back. I just couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

"James, can I talk to you?" Carlos smiled. "Alone?" He looked at me.

"Sure. Kendall, go. I'll be okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I kissed him and took Brighton outside. "Leave."

"What?"

"I said leave, before I kill you." I growled.

"Whatever." He left and didn't look back.

I waited for Carlos and James to get done talking.

James PoV-

Carlos closed the door and sat next to me.

"Relax, James. You don't have to look strong for me. I'm not Kendall."

I sighed and just lay limp in the bed. I was relieved that I didn't have to be strong for him, but I did for Kendall. I couldn't let him see me at my weakest.

"You look like hell, man." He laughed.

"I feel like hell and do I really look that bad?" I frowned.

"Look for yourself." He handed me my mirror.

I shrieked. My hair was everywhere, I was sweaty, and I had purple bags under my eyes. I combed out my hair and Carlos handed me a towel to wipe the sweat off my face.

"That's better." He smiled.

"So, what's up?"

"I wanted to say, I'm sorry."

"For what?" I tilted my head to the side. "Ow!"

"Don't do that." He rubbed my head. "I'm sorry I yelled at you like that before. I didn't know..."

"Its okay, Carlos." I smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean its not your fault I was a jerk. You read my letter?" I sat up and draped my feet over the side.

"Yeah, I just thought I was going to lose you."

"I would be the same way if you were like this. I mean, I would hate to not be able to say I'm sorry or good-bye to you." I looked at him and he looked at me.

For some strange and weird reason, our faces got closer together. Our lips brushed against eachother and we kissed lightly. We quickly pulled away and looked at one another.

"What just happened?" I asked.

"I don't know, but we really shouldn't have done that." He frowned.

"Yeah...But it did feel kind of good, you know?"

"I did, but you love Kendall and I love Logan. We cant...Can we?"

"No, I guess not."

"What are we going to tell them?"

"Nothing. We tell them nothing. If they find out, we're in deep crap. Not a word."

"And if they find out on their own?"

"My guess...run away. We're both good at that." I nudged him with my elbow and smiled.

"If they aren't going to find out, then one more time wouldn't hurt, would it? I mean just to make sure nothing's there?"

"I guess..." I shrugged.

Our lips met, yet once again. Only this time we didn't back away, we kissed for what seemed like an eternity, but was only a few seconds. I felt a bit of something, but I didn't know what to think of it. The kiss got mistakenly deeper. It wasn't suppose to last this long or go that far. I found the will to stop and pushed Carlos back.

"Wow. That was... "

"Yeah. We speak of this to no-one."

"Absolutely no-one."

Someone knocked on the door and Carlos quickly sat back in the chair next to me.

"Come in." Kendall poked his head in.

"You guys finished?"

"Yeah, I'm going to go anyway-"

"Why?" I interrupted Carlos.

"Because I have to go think, James...About you know what." About our kiss.

Oh...Okay. Come back later and tell me? Please?" I grabbed his forearm.

"I might. I don't know what my answer will be though..."

"What are you guys talking-"

"Nothing!" We both said too quickly.

"Okay then. I need to talk to James anyway. So..."

"Alright. I'll see you later, maybe." Carlos messed with my hair.

"Eeh...Why you be so cruel?" We laughed and he left. "Where's Brighton?"

"He, um, left." He closed the door. "Lay down"

I laid back down, looked at the ceiling, and sighed. I just got Kendall back, but could me and Carlos...I would become the bad guy if Carlos chose me over Logan. I was now depressed.

"You want to know why I was keeping Brighton away from you?" Kendall propped himself against the wall, facing me.

"Yeah."

"I didn't want him to hurt you again." He frowned.

"Again? What do you mean?" I tilted my head to the side. "Ow!"

"Babe, don't do that." Kendall frowned. "Remember? He's the one who hurt your neck."

I flashbacked and remembered nothing of the sort. I remembered a pain in my neck when I had sex with Logan the other night.

"No. Its my fault my neck is like this."

"What do you mean?" I sighed.

"I had sex with Logan."

"Yeah, I know. At the hotel, but what-"

"No. The other day."

"You did what! James, what the hell!"

"Kendall, let me explain."

"Fine. Explain!"

I began to explain.

Carlos PoV-

I don't know what came over me. I looked at him, he looked at me, and it was like we connected somehow. I didn't plan on kissing him. Hell, I never knew I had it in me to kiss anyone other than Logan. James loved Kendal and I loved Logan, or at least I think we did. We couldn't be...Could we?

A few weeks past, I didn't visit James at all. I couldn't face him after what happened that night. I thought I might do something I would regret. I was sitting on the couch and I heard the door open. James walked in and frowned at me.

"Where have you been? You never came back. Why?"

"How you feeling?" I tried to avoid the subject.

"I fell fantabulous. I don't hurt at all. Thanks for asking. Now, answer my question." He walked over to me and I stood up.

"I couldn't face you with what happened. I didn't want to do anything I would regret, like hurting you. I just... "

"Hey, its okay. I understand." He caressed my chek with his hand and I leaned into his touch.

"I don't know what to do anymore..."

I placed my hand on his and frowned. I wasn't going to kiss him, but he kissed me. I wanted to back away and say no, but I couldn't bring myself to do it; something inside me told me to stay. There was something there so I leaned closer, but he pulled away.

"No..." He frowned.

"What?"

"We cant do this."

"But I want to." I tugged his shirt.

"I do too, but-"

"Then what's stopping you?"

"Kendall..."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. So now you see?"

"No, I don't see. You and Logan did this, why cant we?"

"Because I don't want to make the same mistake again..." That hurt.

"You think I'm a mistake?"

"No, I never said that. I just don't want Kendall to hate me and I love him. I wanted him back. I don't want to break his heart anymore."

"You're lucky. You have someone. Logan and I aren't even back together yet."

"Do you want to be?"

"I don't know. I do and I don't.

"What do you mean?"

"I just...I don't...I mean...I-"

"Spit it out, Carlos."

"I think..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm in love with you."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Logan PoV-

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Carlos loved him! After everything James' done to him, he loves him!

"You what!" I tried to hold back my tears, but one escaped and slid down my cheek slowly.

"Logan!" Carlos gasped. "I didn't know you were-"

"So what? You were going to let me believe that you still love me, when you actually love him!"

"Okay, when you say it like that, you make it sound really bad."

"It is bad, Carlos! James, how could you do this to Kendall again?"

"I love Kendall, I swear!"

"Oh! Wait until-I cant even...Why, Carlos?"

"Logan, I-"

"You know what? I don't want to hear you excuses! I'm done!" Another tear escaped.

I walked to my room and slammed the door shut. I grabbed a pillow, hugged it, and sat on the floor against the wall.

"I loved him so much. I thought we were back together..."

Flashback

"I want us. I want you. So, I'm going to stop and keep you close." I hugged him.

"Promise?"

"I promise." I kissed the top of his head.

Reality

I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I wasn't going to waste my tears on someone who never loved me. I loved him so much it hurt. I couldn't live without him. Maybe if I didn't let James kiss me, none of this would have ever happened; but if I hadn't, I wouldn't have made it through Carlos going back to Minnesota. I was-

"Hey, we need to talk." James came in.

"Go away!"

"No!" He slammed the door, making me jump. "I love Kendall! Get that through your head!"

"But you kissed him! James, I saw and heard everything! You made the first move! I thought he was going to push you away, but he didn't! That killed me!" I stood up.

"Logan-"

"Why! Why did you do it!" My voice started sounding scratchy.

"I don't know, okay! It just happened! I don't even know why I did it with you!"

"Because you loved me! You threw everything away! Kendall, life...everything, for me! Now I want the damn truth! Did you want to kiss him?"

"I-"

"Well!"

"Yes! Okay! I did! I don't know why, I just did!"

"You love him..."

"I don't know." He sighed.

James PoV-

I really didn't know how I felt. I love Kendall, but yet I think I'm falling for Carlos. I needed to sort out my feeling; I just didn't know how.

"You better figure it out!" He screamed.

"Or what?"

"Or I'll tell Kendall everything!"

"You wouldn't..."

"I would." He grabbed out his phone.

"No!" I snatched the phone away and held it above my head.

"James, give it back!" He jumped for it.

"No. Not until you promise to not cal him."

"I promise I wont call Kendall."

"Call me for what?" We jumped and turned around.

"James and Carlos-" I put my hand over Logan's mouth.

"James and Carlos what?"

"We're...uh...its a secret."

"Oh, okay."

"Ow! What the hell! Logan, you freakin bit me!" He stuck his tongue out at me.

"James, come here. I have a secret of my own." Kendall smiled.

"Okay, shoot." I walked over.

"I love you." He whispered.

"That's not really a-" He then kissed me.

I kissed back and we ran our fingers through each other's hair.

"Seriously, James!" Logan smacked my shoulder.

I pulled away and looked at him. He glanced over at Kendall, then back at me. He looked away and stared at the floor.

"What?" I really didn't know what the problem was.

"Get out...Just get out. I-I cant even look at you right now." He pointed at the door.

"Kendall, I'll be right out." Kendall left. "You tell him about this and I will crush Carlos' heart so hard." I don't know why I said that. I would never. Well, I couldn't take it back now.

He looked at me sadly and nodded. I felt so bad for saying that. I left out the door and Kendall wasn't there, but Carlos was.

"Where'd Kendall go?"

"I sent him after something from the studio. So, he's going to be a bit." He smiled.

"Why?"

"For this."

He dragged me into his room and pressed me against the closed door. He began attacking my neck with his hungry lips. I pushed him back and shook my head.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to do this, Carlos." I just lied, I wanted to so badly.

"Seriously?" He put his hand on his hip.

"No, I-" He crossed his arms to reveal how muscular his biceps were. I couldn't resist anymore. "Who am I kidding, Carlos? I want you." He smiled.

I locked the door and kissed him. He kissed back and grabbed my shirt into his grip. I put my hand on his cheek. I pulled away and traced his jaw line with my lips. I moved to his neck and he moaned softly as I leaned him against the wall.

"James..." He said my name in a slight growl.

"Yes?" I looked up and smiled.

"Don't stop...ever." So I didn't.

Carlos PoV-

I never wanted him to stop. Logan never treated me like this; he was always sweet and gentle, while James was aggressive. I liked it, really. Then I thought for a second.

"Wait. Should you be doing this? I mean, with your neck and all?"

"I don't care. All I care about right now...is you." He kissed me again.

It was sweet that he said that, but I was worried.

"Well, I do. James, I don't want you to get hurt again." I frowned.

"Do I look like I'm in pain, Carlos?" He sighed.

"No." He took off my shirt.

"Okay the. Now shut up and let me kiss you." James smiled.

"First things first..."

"What now...?" He sighed.

"We have to get rid of this." I slid his shirt off his muscular body.

Our chest met and there was so much heat radiating off his body, it made me lean closer into him. I wanted him; I loved him. We were now in our boxers and our lips met again. He walked backwards and sat on the bed. I straddled him and we both leaned back. I had my hands through his gorgeous brown hair, while we had his on my waist, clenching down into my skin.

"Ow..."

"Sorry." He frowned.

"No. It was a good pain." I whispered closely in his ear.

He smiled and flipped us over, putting him on top.

"Am I too heavy?"

"Never..." I kissed him softly. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"No."

"You are beautiful like an angel. You-" Someone knocked on the door.

"Carlos, I'm back!" Kendall's voice said through the door.

"Oh gosh! We're busted." James freaked.

"Not necessarily. Get your clothes on while I distract Kendall and you sneak out the door." I smiled and kissed him softly.

I got up, grabbed a shirt and my pants. I put them on and slid around the door.

"I couldn't-Why are you wearing James' shirt?" Oh crap! I must've grabbed the wrong freakin shirt!

"He-He's letting me borrow his shirt."

"Don't you have-"

"So, did you find the thing I sent you for?"

"No. Gustavo said there was no such thing as 'helmet wash'."

"Damn! I thought there was."

"You and James have been acting very weird here lately. What's been going on?"

Kendall PoV-

I knew there was something going on, but I couldn't figure it out. They were acting strange, even for James and Carlos; I don't know, maybe I should ask Logan.

"Maybe I should ask Logan..."

"No! I mean, you don't want to bother him. I'm sure he doesn't have time to talk with...all the, um..." He glanced behind me.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing! Its nothing. Oh, did you see that cool thing out in the hallway?" He dragged me into the hallway and left me there.

He slammed the door in my face and locked it. I went down to the lobby and Brighton was the only one there.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry that I snapped at you like that. I was being a bitch."

"Don't worry about it. I'm moving back home anyway."

"I mean-Wait. You're what!"

"I'm moving back to London. I just cant take this anymore. I need to go away."

"No, Brighton. Stay. You don't know how much I want you to stay."

"How much? Enough you love me?"

"What?"

"Kendall, I've been in love with you ever since I met you. I've wanted you to love me, but instead you chose that bastard who's always cheating on you."

Don't call him that! He's my boyfriend and if you cant accept that...then-then just go away!"

"Fine...I will." He started to leave.

"Brighton!" He stopped and turned around. "Stay!"

"Why!" I couldn't let him leave, so I said the unthinkable.

"Kiss me." He just looked at me. "I want you...to kiss me."

He dropped his suitcase and walked over to me. He cupped my face and kissed my lips softly.

"Are you serious!" Logan's voice startled us. "First James and Carlos, now you two!" He started to storm off.

"What about James and Carlos?" I grabbed his forearm.

"Oh crap...Nothing. They did nothing!"

"Logan, tell me the truth..."

"I-I cant."

"Why not?"

"He told me, if I did, he would break Carlos' heart so badly I-"

"Who? Who told you that?"

"James."

"What did they do?"

"I cant!"

"Logan, tell me!" I shook his shoulder a bit.

"They kissed!" He burst into tears.

I held him close in a tight hug, while he let out his sorrows.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Logan PoV-

I had been holding it in all day. I wanted everything to end! Stop all the heartache; stop all the crap that was happening to us!

"I don't want...James to hurt Carlos. I want him to stay...happy. Don't...please don't tell him...I told you!"

"I wont, honey. I wont. Just let it out."

"I loved Carlos, but...but I just don't think he loved me at all."

"Yes, he did. It was just a change of heart...a stupid change like James had." I cried harder.

"I've lost him! Lost him forever; He's gone!"

"You don't know that. He'll come around like James did."

"That's just it. He's in love with James and James loves him." I looked up.

"James loves me, not Carlos, Logan." He smiled.

"Then how do you explain James kissing him!"

"I bet Carlos kissed him first." I shook my head.

"I saw everything. James kissed him first; He made the first move."

"I don't believe you. James loves me, nobody else." He backed away, shaking his head.

"No-one ever does..."

"James has changed. I'll prove it."

I followed him upstairs and the door to room 2J was locked. Kendall looked through the peep-hole. He stepped back, shaking his head, and his eyes filed with horror.

"No...No, no, no, no, no...NO!" He screamed.

"Kendall, calm down."

"I thought he had changed! He said he loved me!"

"I told you he's always cheating on you." Brighton smarted off.

"Shut the hell up, Brighton!" I snapped.

I looked through the peep-hole and saw them kissing passionately, which cut through my heart like a knife. It looked so meaningful and I just wanted to die.

"Carlos knew I loved James, but he does this!"

"Don't be blaming all of this on Carlos! You boy made the first move!"

"Shut up!" He growled.

"James is the one to blame for all of-" He drew back and right hooked my jaw.

I touched my bottom lip with my fingers and saw blood on them. I looked up and Kendall was gone.

"Are you okay, Logan?" The brown haired, Brit asked me.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. I just need to do something."

I knocked on the door and James answered it. I drew my fist back and punched him in the jaw.

"Logan, what the hell!" He glares at me.

"Kendall saw! He saw everything!"

"You told him!"

"I did, but he didn't believe me. He came up here; the door was locked, so he looked through the pea-hole, and saw you kissing Carlos!"

"No, no, no, no...I have to go." He ran out the door.

"Logan..." I started to walk away. "Logan, wait." Carlos grabbed my hand, I stopped.

"Carlos, let me go."

"No, we need to talk." I turned around.

"About what? There's nothing to talk about."

"Logan-"

"We were going to get married!"

"I know..."

"Then why?"

"I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"I've never stopped loving you, Carlos; not even for a second. I thought we were back together-" He hugged me.

"I'm sorry. Logan, can I be with you again?"

"D-Do you still love James?"

"I-No. I think he was using me. He loves Kendall and always will. I love you."

"I love you more."

James PoV-

I ran after him.

"Kendall! Kendall, wait!" I hoped in the elevator with him.

The elevator went down a bit and I flipped the switch to stop it. He turned his back to me.

"Look at me, Kendall."

"No!"

"Let me ex-"

"Explain what! You never loved me!" He turned around.

"How can you say that? I've always loved you!"

"Then why were you kissing him? I thought you had changed, but...I guess I was wrong." He frowned.

"I-"

"You're a slut, James! There, I said it! You're a self-centered, low-life slut, who doesn't care who he hurts!" That killed me, but I knew it was true.

"But I care about you!"

"Stop saying things like that! You don't mean them! I wish you would kiss me, like you kiss them; and doing it now will only make it worse, it will just hurt me more. Seeing as how I have to ask you to kiss me, instead of you doing it on your own free will!"

"I wish there was something that I could do..."

"Leave me alone."

"What?"

"Leave me alone; that's what you can do. I want you to stay away from me!" He started the elevator again.

"I-"

"Stay away, James!"

"Kendall, I-" He got off and walked away.

The doors closed and I kicked them repeatedly.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" I growled.

I fell to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest, buried my face into them, and cried until my heart's content. I must have spent hours in there, crying non-stop. My phone rang several times, I ignored it. Many texts, I ignored them too.

Days past, I never saw Kendall. I ignored Carlos and Logan. I just didn't care anymore. There was this black cloud around me; Kendall hates me, I thought. I'm never going to get him back.

I was in the park, it was empty. I grabbed out the gun that I have had for the past few days. I have been trying to pull the trigger everyday since that night. There were so many voices in my head.

"You're a self-centered, low-life slut, who doesn't care who he hurts...You need to stop loving me and love him...He means nothing to me...Stay away from me..." They kept saying over and over again.

I sat on the bench and pointed the gun towards my face. I placed my thumb on the trigger and almost pulled it when...

"James!" Kendall's voice screamed.

I stood up and put the gun to my head.

"James! Stop!"

"My pain is never going to go away! I'm always going to be a slut! My past will always be with me!"

"Give me the gun, James"

"I-I cant. I have to do this!"

"If you do...I-I will never forgive myself. I've driven you to this." He walked towards me slowly.

"I..."

"Please!" He cried. "Hand me the gun."

I slowly removed it from my head and lowered it, shakily. He took it, put it on the ground, and kicked it away. I sat on the ground and he hugged me tightly. He put his hand on my head and leaned it against his chest as I cried.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." He rubbed my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I cant live I a world...where I didn't have you and I just..."

"Shh...Its okay. James, I love you. I'm never leaving you like that again." He swayed side to side.

I-I love you more. Promise?"

"Promise..."

Carlos PoV-

"Logan, I love you." I said as I lay beside him.

"I know. You've said that with almost every breath you've taken." He snickered.

"And each time is true. This was long over do."

"Yeah, it was."

"I forgot how much I missed this." I laid my head on his pale white chest. "I have a question..."

"Ask away, Carlitos." He laughed.

"What would you have done...if I stayed in Minnesota?"

"I would've stayed with you."

"No, Logan. Seriously...what would you've done?"

"...I would have done some things that I cant even bare to think about."

"Oh...Well, I-" My phone rang. "Hello?" I sat up.

"Carlos, I have to tell you something. Its very serious." James voice spoke.

"Okay...?"

"I love Kendall and I don't want to hurt him anymore, so I'm breaking up with you."

"Its not really an official breakup. We were never together-together...we just did and that was it."

"I know. I'm just telling you I'm done, no more...Do you still love me?"

"As a brother or boyfriend-like?" I slid my pants on and stood up.

I walked over to the window and started to think. I don't know if I'm totally over him. I mean I love Logan, but I think I still might have feelings for James.

"Either."

"I-I don't know." I started whispering. "Brother...yes. Boyfriend-like..." I trailed off.

"Carlos, I need to know."

If I said yes, would you be mad?"

"No, its how you feel. Just know that I wont return the feeling."

"Yeah, I know. I love Logan, but I think I still have feelings for you. I just-"

"Hey, its okay. We'll talk later."

"Okay...Love you."

"Love you too, bro. Bye." He hung up.

I closed the phone and sighed. Logan came over and wrapped his arms around me. He laid his chin on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing."

"Something's bothering you. Talk to me, baby."

"I cant. Its between James and I..." I sighed again.

"Okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you would pressure me with it."

"Nah, I respect you. I'll wait until you are ready to tell me." He kissed my neck.

"And if I tell you, will you listen?"

"Always..." He whispered into my ear.

His warm breath felt good on my neck. I leaned into the touch of his body against mine. I looked up and his face was so close, his lips were brushing against mine.

"Never leave me..." I whispered.

"Wouldn't think of it." He kissed me softly.

Kendall PoV-

I had nightmares for weeks after James' suicide attempt. I couldn't shake the fact he would come to that conclusion. I loved him so much, but I needed some space and that was the biggest mistake of my life. I was at the park.

"Hey." James came from behind and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey..." I didn't know what it was, but he smelled way too good to me.

"What's the matter, Kendie?"

"I just...don't know what I would've done without you. I-" He turned me around and pressed his lips against mine. "You-You just kissed me."

"Is that a problem?"

"No...You just did it without me asking."

"Oh, yeah...Kendall, what happened to your neck?"

Flashback

I was walking down the dark streets of L.A., trying to clear my head; I walked for about an hour. I kept feeling like someone was following me, so I headed towards an alley. I got to the end of it and turned around. There were red hungry eyes and white fangs, glowing in the moonlight, staring at me.

I backed up as far as I could and he quickly came to me. He was so beautiful; red eyes, pale skin, muscular, with white fangs. He kept swaying his head side to side, smelling of my skin; my heart started to race. He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground. He pressed his lips against my neck, parting them ever-so slightly, then I felt this tingling sensation where he bit.

As he was draining my blood, I felt so...so-I couldn't describe the feeling...all I could do was moan. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. When he was done, he licked the remaining blood I had left and I blacked out.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

James PoV-

There were two puncture wounds, space out about an inch apart, on his neck. I rubbed over them with my finger tips lightly; he gasped, grabbed his neck, and jumped back so fast.

"Kendal, what happened?"

"Nothing...Its nothing."

I always thought vampires were just make-believe, Kendall...Was he? I wasn't scared; He just looked so weak.

"It's something."

"I'm a vampire..."

"You look so weak."

"I know."

"You need to feed."

"I-I don't want to kill anyone. I just can't do that."

"But you'll die."

"I don't care."

"Well, I do." Then an idea struck me. "Use me."

"What?"

"Feed on my blood."

"No-"

"I'm not scared."

"I am. What if I can't find the will to stop?"

"You will."

"What if I kill you?"

"You won't. I trust you."

"I just don't trust myself."

"Just do it."

"James..."

"Now, Kendall!"

He was next to me in a split second. He pressed his lips on my neck, parting them slightly, and then he bit. It felt...so good. I moaned a bit. He was drinking my blood, making moan. He was draining all of it; I shoved him back and he came again.

"Kendall, stop! You're...killing...me!" I started feeling light-headed.

He jumped back and looked terrified. I couldn't stop the bleeding.

"I...can't stop...it."

"Let me." He ran over and licked the wound, making it stop the bleeding. I felt better; I didn't feel as bad as I did.

"So...?"

"So, what?"

"How was it?"

"What?"

"My blood. How did it taste?"

"It was sweet and candy-like. I was...so good."

"I could tell." I smiled.

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay. You didn't hurt me. Actually, it felt good."

"I-I cant stay here." He started to walk away and I grabbed his wrist.

"Why?"

"I'm a monster. I almost killed you."

"Almost, but you didn't."

"I'm nothing but a monster."

"...My monster." I embraced him in a tight hug.

Kendall PoV-

I was still starving, but didn't say anything. James would just offer himself again, only this time...I wouldn't be able to stop; He would die. I couldn't live with myself if I did that. I needed to find out who changed me and why...I didn't see his face, only the glow of his eyes and fangs. The image came back and I gasped.

"What's wrong?" James worried.

"N-Nothing. You need your sleep."

"But we're in the park..."

"Okay? We can sleep under the stars." I started to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Its funny...I said 'we' and vampires cant sleep."

"Oh...well, I'll stay up with you." He smiled.

"No." I shook my head. "You need to rebuild your strength that I took away..."

"Stop blaming yourself for this; Its not your fault." I sighed and lay beside him.

"I love you." I choked, trying not to cry.

"I love you too." He drifted off to sleep.

I lay there with my eyes closed, thinking. These images started going through my mind like a movie. I tried to open my eyes, but they stayed shut.

There were dead bodies, piled high, covered in blood. I was standing on top of them, finishing off my last victim...James. His last words were, 'I love you; then he died.

"NO!" I screamed and sat up.

I looked over and James was still asleep. I looked up, to see that beautiful creature that changed me, hovering over him. I threw him against the tree and pinned him down. I got a better look at his face and I couldn't believe it.

"B-Brighton?"

He cackled evilly and quickly flipped around to pin me against the tree. He smiled.

"Why?"

"I loved you...and you wouldn't see it..."

"So you did this to me?"

"Yess..." He hissed. "To make...you see."

"I will destroy you..." I hissed.

"Haha...you have to catch me first..." He ran away and disappeared.

I started to go after him, but it was coming daylight and I needed to get inside. I picked James up carefully and ran to the hotel. I walked up to room 2J and opened the door. I sat on the couch with him still in my arms. He started shivering, so I threw a blanket over us.

He moved and that sent a shockwave of the smell of his blood towards me. I wanted it so badly; it was so sweet, candy-like, and energizing. It was drawing me towards him, so I quickly got up and slammed myself against the wall, waking him up.

"K-Kendall, what's going on?" He walked towards me.

"No...Stay away." I had to cover my mouth and nose, so that I wouldn't lunge at him.

"I'm not afraid of you. Now, get up and come here." He held out his arms; I shook my head.

He grabbed me up and hugged me, tightly. I tried to get away, but he was too strong. He was stronger than me as a vampire. I couldn't believe it.

"Let me go, James."

"Never." I looked up and he was looking at me.

This was my chance to get free from him. I pressed my lips against his and he loosened his grip. I took that chance to get away. I jumped on top of the cabinets, out of his reach. I saw his lips bleeding and that sent me over the edge.

"Kendall, I'm fine."

"The blood! James, get it away from me!" I growled.

"There, better?" He put a towel on it.

"No, you smell too good to me. I cant stand it."

"I don't want this to come between us..."

"What are you saying?"

"Change me." I was in shock.

James PoV-

I didn't want his vampirism to come between us. I wanted to be with him forever; I loved him. I was afraid, but that's what scared him so much.

"What?"

"I want you...to change me."

"No."

"Kendall, I love you and I want to be with you forever. Change me." He slowly got down and walked over to me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He rubbed the tip of his nose up my neck, pressed his lips against me, and that was the last thing I felt. I opened my eyes and he was gone. I sighed; I turned around and the window was open. The sun was shining and he was out!

"No!" I ran out the door, to search for him. "Kendall!" I screamed.

I ran down the street and saw a pitch black alley, so I stopped; something hissed.

"Kendall?" I gasped when I saw several red glowing eyes appear.

They were laughing and hissing. I froze, as I felt a nose going up my neck; Hands were on my chest and back, I couldn't move.

"James...You're in my way..." A voice spoke.

"In your way of what?"

"My love...for Kendall..." He hissed.

"Brighton?" I gasped.

"I'll make you a deal...you want to be a vampire...right?"

"Yes."

"I'll change you...if you let Kendall go...break his heart where he'll come to me..." He got close to my ear.

"But...I love him." I frowned.

"...You want to be one of us...dont you?" I nodded.

He pinned me against the wall and ran the tip of his nose up my neck, smelling my blood. He pressed his lips against my neck, making me shutter at the touch of his soft cold lips. He parted them slightly and I felt the sharpness of his teeth.

"Brighton!" I heard someone growl, which made Brighton stop and turn. "Leave him alone!"

"Kendall...he wants to be one of us...let him." He hissed.

"No!" Kendall made a sound that scared me.

"If I cant do it, you will!"

"Never!" Brighton mumbled something and Kendall turned into a whole different being.

His eyes turned blood red, his skin turned pearly white, and he had fangs. He grinned evilly and started walking towards me, slowly.

"Kill him." Brighton hissed.

"Yes, Master..."

"What about changing me?"

"No...I was going to kill you anyway...but now I don't...have to. I have Kendall under my...control."

Kendall slammed me against the wall harder, crushing my bones; I screamed in pain. He kissed my neck, the licked the scar from his first bite, making it open again. I took in a deep, shuttering breath as he began to drink my blood.

"I...love you." I managed to say, and then everything started going black.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Kendall PoV-

"I...love you." James said, which made an image appear into my head.

Bodies were piled high and I was on top, finishing off my last victim...James. That brought me back to what was happening; I was killing James. I stopped and he fell to the ground, lying lifeless. My mouth was covered in his blood.

"Very good." A clapping noise came from behind me, I quickly turned around.

"Why did you kill him!" I slammed him against the wall.

"I didn't...you did." He flipped us over and my back was against the wall. "All I wanted was for you...to love me."

"I don't! What happened to you!"

"You left! I...became depressed and that's when I found this new life."

"I-I'm sorry."

He kissed me...He was freakin kissing me! I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. There was no use in fighting it. I kissed him back and he bit my bottom lip. He began kissing up and down my neck. I ran my fingers through his hair.

I had to kill him before he hurt anyone else, but he was my best friend. I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes, and snapped his neck. I then rip his head off and he fell to the ground. I ran to James and he wasn't moving.

"James! Come on, wake up!"

He was pale and cold. I grabbed out a needle filed with my venom and jabbed it through his heart. I grabbed him into my arms and rocked back and forth.

"James, I love you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Please, wake up!"

A few minutes later, he still hadn't moved. I cried, set him down, and walked away.

"Kendall?" A strong voice spoke.

I turned around to see him standing there.

"James!" I ran to him. "I thought you were-"

He pressed his lips against mine and kissed me. I kissed back, as tears ran down my face. He pulled away and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not. This wasn't suppose to happen...You-You weren't suppose to become this."

"But I like it. I feel powerful and...I get to be with you forever-" He glanced over at Brighton's body. "You killed him..."

"Yeah..." I frowned.

"We have to make sure..." he walked over to the body.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, in order to make sure he's dead...you have to rip out the heart."

He tore off Brighton's shirt. He cut open his chest and reached his hand in; Blood was everywhere. James looked like he was about to go on a Feeding Frenzy. I walked to him and put my hands over his mouth, so he wouldn't have to smell the blood. He grabbed the heart and snatched it out. He brought out a lighter, then lit the body and heart on fire. I had to turn away.

"There, done. Now we can-Kendall, are you okay?"

"No...He was my best friend, James."

"He deserved this. He was a killer." He hugged me from behind.

For the rest of that day, I was depressed.

Logan PoV-

I was about to cal the police; we haven't seen Kendall nor James in days.

"Um...Logan? I don't think you have to cal the police anymore." My sweet Latino point at the door.

They were standing there; they looked tired.

"You guys look tired."

"Gee, thanks for telling us we look like crap." James smiled.

"Where have you two been! We have been worried sick!" Carlos yelled.

"We...um...have been out." They lied, terribly.

"You're lying!"

"You guys look so pale and...You're cold. You feeling okay?" I felt James' forehead.

"We're fine...Kendall?" He smelled the air.

"Not now, James."

"Kendall."

"What?" He looked at him and his eyes were glowing red.

Red! How the hell did he do that! Kendall stood in front of him.

"Dude, what's going on with your eyes?"

"If we told you...You wouldn't believe us."

"Try me." I crossed my arms.

"We're...Vampires."

I glared and laughed. I didn't believe it.

"Oh my gosh! I cant believe you guys would rather make up ridiculous crap, than tell us the truth."

"Its true!" I laughed again. "Carlos, come here. I'll prove it."

"No, James!" Kendall stopped him.

"I'm starving!" He grinned showing fangs.

I grabbed Carlos and back up when his eyes started glowing red again.

"Still? Babe, you drained two bodies on the way here."

"Its like a drug. I have to have it!"

"James, stop it! They're your friends and the way you're acting, you'll kill them!"

"Kendall, what's wrong with him?" I asked, terrified.

"Being a newborn isn't easy, especially when you're around humans. You start wanting more and more blood, even though you've past you body's limit. Its called a Feeding Frenzy...and it cant be stopped, unless..."

"Unless what?" Carlos frowned.

"Unless...You kill them."

"We cant kill James!"

"I know...but-"

"What about Muffy?" I asked.

"Who?" Kendall asked, still trying to keep James away from Carlos.

"The Vampire Slayer, James used to know."

"You want James killed!"

"It was a suggestion! Like you said, it cant be stopped!"

"Call her..." He frowned.

I called Muffy and she was there in a flash.

"Where is it?"

"Muffy, 'it' is James. He's on a Feeding Frenzy. Kendall is trying to keep him away from Carlos, but he wont stop."

"Move!"

"He too strong!" Kendall growled.

"There has never been a vampire I couldn't kill." She smiled.

Kendall moved and James lunged at her, pinning her against the wall.

"I don't want to hurt you, James."

"You smell...tasty." He hissed.

James PoV-

I loved how she smelled. It was so sweet, yet spicy and I wanted it.

"I just want a quick bite." I snapped at her neck.

"James, snap out of it! I don't want to-" I bit her neck. "James!"

I started draining her blood; it was so good. I tried to stop, but...

"James, you're killing her!" Kendall screamed.

I just couldn't stop, she tasted way too good to me. It was so addicting, I needed it. I kept drinking until I couldn't get more blood. I let go of her and she fell to the ground.

"You killed her!" Then a shock went through my head, making me come back to reality.

"Muffy?" I bent down and held her in my arms. "Muffy, I'm so sorry! I didn't know what I was doing. I'm so sorry!" I cried.

"James, she's gone. Let her go." Kendall dragged me away from her.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No! I cant let her go!" I got free.

I grabbed her into my arms, put her chek against mine, and cried.

"James-"

"Let him be, Kendall. He been through too much." Logan said.

"Are you okay?" Carlos put his hand on my shoulder.

I growled and hissed at him. I killed her and I didn't know why. This would haunt me forever! I was regretting ever wanting to become this...this monster.

"Why?" I asked through the tears.

"Why, what?"

"Why did...I kill her?"

"You were on a Feeding Frenzy, James. You don't remember anything?"

"No! I don't! I'm so sorry, Muffy. I didn't mean to do this...I should've never wanted to become this monster."

"You think we're monsters?"

"Cold-blooded killers..." Then I realized what I had said.

"Really..."

I got up and he turned around. I was at him in a split second and hugged him behind.

"I didn't mean it like that." I put my face into the bend of his neck.

"I'm not a killer..."

"I know that, but-"

"And neither are you."

"I wish I could believe-"

"Believe it, James! You're still that fun-loving guys that I fell in love with. It was something you couldn't help." I frowned.

"But I killed her. An innocent girl, who loved me."

"She loved you?"

"Yes...I killed her, Kendall!"

"Listen to me! You couldn't help it! So shut up and help me with her."

"What?"

"We cant just leave her here, James." I frowned.

I picked her up and he opened a window.

"We'll be back later." We left.

Carlos PoV-

He tried to bite me. I always thought vampires drank animal blood. I've watched Twilight, but apparently they lie. I grabbed my neck, thinking; if he could do that to Muffy, imagine what he could've done to me.

"Hey, its okay. They're gone." Logan smiled.

"Did you see how he looked at me? It was the scariest thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah...They looked horrible." He snickered.

"I thought they looked beautiful. With their pale skin...pink lips...muscles...and their-"

"Carlos!"

"Sorry! I was just saying..."

"Daydreaming maybe." He laughed. "Okay, they didn't look that bad. I just wish it didn't happen to them. I wonder how it happened..."

"They got bit, duh!" I slapped the back of his head.

"I mean, who bit them."

"Vampires."

"Oh dear." He sighed.

"Well, what do we do until they get back?"

"I don't know..."

"He's going to kill himself for this." I cried as Logan hugged me tightly.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Kendall PoV-

I was still upset I killed Brighton, but it was the right thing to do. Being a vampire wasn't easy; on the bright side, we could do whatever we wanted, without hurting eachother. I could kiss James without fearing I would crush him.

We got to our destination and James was still holing on to her. It really wasn't his fault he killed Muffy. I mean, I could tell he tried to stop, but if I helped him stop, he would've probably ripped my head off...literally.

"James, lets go."

"Give me a sec, will ya?"

"Okay." I backed away.

He kneeled to the ground, with her still in his arms. He moved her hair out of her face and pressed his lips against her forehead. I could tell he was crying again, I wish I could make him feel better.

"You ready?"

"...Yeah." He laid her down.

He stood up and walked over to me. I hugged him.

"Why are you hugging me?"

"I love you and I'm trying to make you feel better." I smiled.

"I need to do something. I'll be back later." His voice lost all emotion, it was just a dead tone now.

"I'm coming with you. I don't want you to go and do something you would regret later."

"Fine." He led me to a clothing store.

"What are we doing here?"

He didn't say anything and just went in. I waited outside for a few minutes. I heard the door open and I couldn't believe my eyes. It wasn't the same James, he was totally different; dressed in black, all black.

He had a black rocker tee, leather jacket, spike bracelets and collar, black pants, and combat boots

"What happened to you?"

"Nothing. I'm still me, just in black. What, you don't like it?"

"I-Its different. Something I can get used to. Actually, it looks kind of sexy on you." I smiled.

"Thanks. I want to go home now."

We ran home and went through the window to see my mom standing in the kitchen with her back turned to us. We tried to sneak around her, but she caught us.

"Stop!" She turned around. "Two things: One, James what the hell are you wearing? And two, where have you two been?"

"Clothes and Places." James smarted off.

"Don't start with me, Issac."

"My name is James!" He hissed.

"Go to your room, both of you."

We went to our room and I closed the door. James sat on the bed, running his fingers through his hair. I walked over to him.

"You okay, honey?" I kneeled down and put my hand on his knee.

"No..."

I leaned closer and pressed my lips against his. He pushed me back and shook his head.

"Not right now...I'm sorry."

"Oh okay." I frowned.

He went to the bathroom, took a shower, and came out. He crawled onto the bed and stared out the window, blankly. I lay beside him, draped my arm over him, and held his hand. He leaned into me and sighed.

James PoV-

I was so depressed, couldn't you tell? I'm supposed to be the funny, always laughing guy, but I didn't even care to smile the littlest bit. My life was ruined. I was a murderer; I killed the innocent. I killed Muffy, my best friend. I just didn't care anymore, I was just...just so down and I wasn't planning on coming back up anytime soon. It served me right. Kendall says it wasn't my fault...who killed her? I did! I killed her and there was no way to bring her back! He just doesn't understand. Sure, he killed Brighton, but he was evil and deserved it. Muffy was like my sister and was innocent.

"I love you..." Kendall whispered.

"I-I..." I didn't even care enough to say it back.

I had no more emotions, except sadness and anger.

"James, its going to be okay." He stroked my face lightly.

"I wish I could say that myself." I frowned.

"You can, honey. Now, I already know the answer, but what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Its nothing. I wish I could sleep, to be able to clear my head."

"Want me to sing?"

"Please..."

"When the visions around you,  
Bring tears to your eyes  
And all that surround you,  
Are secrets and lies  
I'll be your strength,  
I'll give you hope,  
Keeping your faith when it's gone  
The one you should call,  
Was standing here all along..

And I will take  
You in my arms  
And hold you right where you belong  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you  
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,  
In lifetimes before  
And I promise you never...  
Will you hurt anymore  
I give you my word  
I give you my heart  
This is a battle we've won  
And with this vow,  
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes  
Each loving day  
I know this feeling won't go away  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you..  
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall

When I hear you call  
Without you in my life baby  
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take  
You in my arms  
And hold you right where you belong  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes  
Each loving day  
I know this feeling won't go away  
Every word I say is true  
This I promise you

Every word I say is true  
This I promise you  
Ooh, I promise you..."

"Nsync..."

"Yeah. It kind of fits the situation, yknow?"

"Its my favorite. Kendall, can I ask you something?" I looked back to meet his emerald green eyes.

"Always." He smiled.

"How did you feel...when you killed Brighton?"

"I-I don't know. Sadness, anger, guilt, and...relief."

"Relief? Why?"

"Knowing that he wouldn't be able to hurt or kill anyone else I love to get to me...gave me peace and relief."

"But you didn't kill an innocent..." I frowned.

"No, I-You're still blaming yourself for her?"

"There's no way to bring her back...She was like my sister, Kendall."

"What do you remember from this morning?"

"I remember coming home, smelling Logan's blood, a shock went through my head, then I saw...Muffy lying on the floor, dead." I teared up. " I'm a monster." I turned over.

I buried my face into his chest, grabbed his shirt, and cried as he held me.

Logan PoV-

I haven't heard from James since this morning. I didn't think he would ever recover from that. I couldn't believe they were vampires. He tried to bite Carlos and that pissed me off. Then I finally saw James and I couldn't believe my eyes.

He was dressed in all black, even his hair. It wasn't beautiful anymore; It was messed up, brushed, but not like usual.

"James!" I gasped. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing."

We were alone in the apartment so something was bound to happen.

"Something did."

"No, it didn't! Nothing happened to me!"

Maybe pissing off a vampire wasn't the best idea, but I needed to know.

"James, tell me. Why are you dressed like that?"

"I cant dress like this for no reason?"

"Not you. Look, if all of this is because of Muffy, you need to stop it now! She's never coming back!"

I was crushed against the wall with so much force; I screamed in pain. I looked into his glowing red eyes; they were so beautiful. He was beautiful when he was angry; with his skin getting paler, eyes glowing red, and his white fangs were showing as he clenched them down to fight the urge to bite me...What the hell was I saying!

"Don't ever say that again!" He growled.

"Okay..." I nodded. "James, you're hurting me." I flinched.

"Sorry..." He let go. "Just don't ever say that again. It killed me."

"I'm sorry." He was so beautiful; I just wanted to...to kiss him.

I couldn't help myself. I grabbed his shirt with one hand and pressed my lips against his. I pushed myself; I couldn't believe I just did that.

"You just kissed me..."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. You just looked so beautiful...I couldn't help it." I frowned.

"I have to use...all of my strength to stay away from you. You smell too good to me."

Well, then don't. I'm not scared of you."

"You should be..."

"No. You're not something scary. You're not a monster-"

"I'm your worst nightmare."

"No, you're not, James."

C-Can I try something?" I nodded. "Stay very still and don't...move."

I froze as he pressed his cold, soft lips against my neck and kissed me. He looked up at me. He then pressed his lips against mine and kissed me. I kissed back and pulled him closer to me. There was so much passion and force behind this kiss.

Was I starting to have feelings for him? Or was it the fact he was a seductive vampire? He threw himself back and took in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Your lip." I touched it and there was blood.

I ran to the bathroom, wet a rag, and wiped it away. I looked into the mirror to see James standing there, frowning. I turned around to meet his hazel eyes so close to mine. I reached my hand up and stroked his face. I wiped away a tear that had fallen.

"Why are you crying?"

"I cant kiss someone without hurting them."

"You didn't hurt me."

"But I cut you."

"Why did you kiss me?"

"I wanted to see if I could be close to another human without attacking him."

"Well, you didn't." I smiled.

Carlos PoV-

I grew out of having feelings for James, by now. I was sitting beside Kendall, in an empty park, at night. He was drinking, I think...blood?

"Is that blood?"

"...Yeah. Want some?" He smiled.

"Ew...No, thank you. Where did you get it?"

"...Blood bank."

"And they just gave it to you, no questions asked?"

"Yep, no question. Man, this is good. You sure you don't want any?" He pushed it towards me.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Dude, your teeth are red."

"Ah, crap. Give me your water bottle." He snatched it from my hands.

"Vampires can drink water?"

"...No." He swished water in his mouth, then spit it out.

"Ew!"

"Better?" He laughed and smiled goofily.

"Yeah." I laughed.

"Have you seen what James looks like now?" He frowned.

"No, why?"

He grabbed out his phone and showed me a picture.

"What the hell happened to him!"

"Muffy's death happened. He keeps beating himself up about it."

"Give him time. He'll come around."

"What if he doesn't?"

"If you love him, you need to stick by him and accept it." I put my hand on his knee.

He moved closer and cuddled against me. I put my arm around him and sighed.

"I love you. You know that right?" He looked up.

"I love you too." He was my best friend; I kissed the top of his head.

"What do you think Logan and James are doing?"

"I don't-Oh god! We left them home alone!" We ran to the hotel and opened the door. I was shocked at what I saw. They were curled up on the couch, asleep.

"I thought vampires cant sleep." I whispered to Kendall.

"We cant. Now shut up, he sleeping." James kept his eyes closed.

"Whatever." I sat beside him, so did Kendall.

I closed my eyes and heard them talking.

"What did you guys do tonight?" Kendall whispered.

"Well..."

"Well what?"

"Logan kissed me." I didn't believe him.

"He what?"

"He made a smart remark about...Muffy's death and I slammed him against the wall. He told me I was hurting him, so I let go and he kissed me."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"And you didn't bite him?"

"No...I was able to kiss him and not bite him."

"You...kissed him?"

"I needed to see if I was able to get close to another human again, without killing him. I still love you more than anything in the world. Never forget that."

"Really?"

"Yes. I love you, Kendall."

"I love you too, James."

I couldn't believe Logan kissed James. I cried silently. What was I going to do?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Logan PoV-

I was watching James kill Carlos, right in front of my eyes. He was draining his blood and then Carlos fell to the ground. I tried to scream, but no sound came from my mouth. James turned and the moonlight shown down on his skin. He was so beautiful with his flawless, smooth, pale skin; his glowing liquid red eyes and huge biceps...

He began walking towards me; I tried to run, but I couldn't move. He was so close to me, I could feel the coldness of his skin through his shirt. He put a hand on my chek his face got closer to mine. Our lips brushed together and he kissed me. I could finally move, but I didn't push him away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist. He licked my bottom lip, wanting to get in, so I let him as I slipped my tongue into his mouth. We kissed so passionately and it was so meaningful. He pulled away and began kissing up and down my neck. He parted his lips and bit me. I gasped and woke up.

It was a dream...Just a dream...About me loving James?

"Logan...What's wrong?" Carlos looked at me, sleepily.

"N-Nothing, baby. Bad dream, Just go back to sleep." Then he did.

I got up and went to the kitchen. I got me a glass of water and drank it down. I put the glass in the sink, turned around, and saw James standing there. I jumped.

"You scared the hell out of me!" I whispered.

"What are you doing up at this hour?"

"Bad dream. Couldn't sleep." I frowned.

"Want to talk about it?"

I froze. I couldn't tell him that I had a dream about making-out with him! It would just be wrong!

"N-No."

"What's wrong?" I looked down. "You can tell me, Logan."

"You really want to know?" I looked up.

"Yes." His voice became so deep and musky; it was uber sexy.

"You...You don't know how much I...want to kiss you."

"Why aren't you then?"

"Because you love Kendall and I don't want to ruin your relationship."

"I think...he would understand...if he found out."

His lips brushed against mine and we kissed passionately. He put a hand on my chek and pressed me against the counter. I placed my hand on the back of his head, deepening the kiss.

Why couldn't I have had these feelings sooner, when he loved me? We could be together forever. 'If he found out', he said. If Kendall found out, he would tell Carlos and that relationship would be over.

He moved his lips to my neck and my dream came back; but instead of biting me, he began to kiss my jaw line then my lips again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let out a slight moan. He pulled away, looked at me, and then kissed me once more.

"Better?"

"What did you do that?" I ran my finger down the center of his chest.

"What was your dream about?"

"This..." I looked up and he frowned.

"'This' was a bad dream?"

"No...Just what happened after."

"Tell me."

"You...You bit me."

"I would never do that."

"I know." I hugged him.

Kendall PoV-

Logan kissed James. James kissed Logan. Which ever way it was, I couldn't believe it. James loves me and Logan knows that...So why did he do it? If Logan starts loving James, this could be a problem. I walked out into the living room and saw James hugging Logan.

"What's going on in here?" He jumped and turned around.

Logan was asleep.

"Bad dream."

"Why are you hugging him?"

"H-He needed comforting. Can you open his door for me?" He picked him up into his arms.

"Sure." I opened the door and he laid Logan next to Carlos.

He covered him up and Carlos snuggled into him. He closed the door behind us and looked at me.

"I know what you're thinking and no, I didn't."

"I didn't say anything. So...What now?" I opened our door and sat on the bed.

James closed the door and was at me in a second. I looked up and he smiled. He bent down and kissed me. I slid both, mine and his shirt off. He leaned forwards, pushing me backwards. I pulled away.

"I don't want to rush into this."

"Your wish, is my command." He laughed and kissed me again.

He pressed his body against mine and began kissing up and down my whole neck. He moved his lips to my collarbone then started feather kissing my chest. By now, we were both in our boxers. He was kissing up my arms, my neck, and then my lips. I grabbed his shoulders and scratched him with my nails. He moaned and slipped his tongue into my mouth as I did the same to him.

"I love you." I managed to say in between the kisses.

"I love you more."

I was thinking, if I had to lose my virginity to anyone, it would be James. I loved him more than anything in the world, more than life itself. He was my life, my rock, the gravity that held me to this very earth.

We made love to eachother that night. The last kiss was given and I laid my head on his chest.

"I love you." I looked up.

"Haven't you already said that?" He smiled.

"Well, I'm saying it again. I-"

"I love you too." He smiled.

"I was saying...I'm glad I have you here, with me.

"Me too. Yknow, if we did this and I wasn't changed, it wouldn't have ended well."

"Yes, it would've. I never want to hurt you. Never have, never will." I smiled.

Carlos PoV-

I got up, got dressed, and went to the studio, alone, to think. I sat on the bean bag chairs in the sound room and stared at the ceiling. I got up and started playing with the instruments.

"Carlos, what are you doing here?" Kendall stood at the door.

"Thinking. You?"

"Same."

"I thought vampires couldn't be out in the sunlight."

"Funny story. Turns out...Im a Day Walker."

"Like Blade!"

"Yes." He groaned and looked up at the ceiling.

"Just asking. Gosh." I laughed.

"I know." He started playing with the strings on the guitar.

"What ever happened to Brighton?" He froze. "Kendall?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He frowned.

"You can tell me." I walked over to him.

"Promise me you wont be scared of me when I tell you."

"I was almost attacked by a Feeding Frenzy James. I think I cant take it." I smiled.

"Promise me."

"I promise. Now-"

"I killed him." I stood there, staring at him, in silence. "Carlos?"

"That's funny. Stop playing with me. Where is he?" I laughed.

"He tried to kill James, so I ripped his head off."

I started backing away from him in fear. I know I promised, but he killed his best friend. How will I know he wont do that to me, if I made him mad. I backed into the wall until I couldn't go any further. He walked towards me.

"Stay away from me." He stopped.

"W-Why? You promised!"

"I know, but you killed your best friend. Your best friend!"

"He tried to kill James and he killed other people! If I was such a horrible monster, would I be able to do this without killing you?"

"Do wh-" He kissed me.

I wanted to push him away, but something was stopping me. Instead, I drew closer to him; wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my body against him. Our bodies fit together like a finished puzzle. He pulled away and left. I leaned against the wall, let out a heavy sigh, smiling, and slid down to the floor.

James PoV-

I didn't know why I was so drawn to Logan. Its just that everytime I see him...I want to kiss him. I didn't love him. I guess it was just one of those freaky vampire instinct things. I know that I needed to stop...Stop right now. 'You don't know how much I want to kiss you', Logan said. What did that mean?

I was hungry, but not for blood. I didn't know what it was.

"Hey." Logan's voice made me jump.

"H-Hey." He looked sad. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He frowned.

"Something's wrong. Tell me." I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I don't know if I'm in love with you...or if I'm in love with your vampirism."

"O-Okay. I don't know what it is about you, but everytime I see you...I want to kiss you. I cant stay away from you for long."

"Are you in love with me?"

"No, but I cant stay away-"

"Then don't." He pulled on my shirt.

He pulled me closer and his lips brushed against mine. He kissed me and griped my shirt. I had to stop this, but I felt like I was getting stronger and I wasn't as hungry anymore. I kissed back, both of us parting our lips. The kiss got deeper and he pulled away.

"Want to continue this elsewhere?"

Without thinking, I said yes and he dragged me to the room I shared with Kendall. He shut the door and we kissed with more passion. I wasn't thinking about the dangers of kissing a human like this. He started walking backwards and laid back on the bed, me towering over him. I moved me lips to his neck and then I got this urge to bite him, so I threw myself back, hitting the wall.

"What's wrong?"

"...No. I cant do this with you." I shook my head.

"Why not? You and Kendall-"

"He's not a human. He's not as fragile as you are."

"James, c'mon." He walked over and stroked my face.

"No!" I pushed him away and left.

Kendall PoV-

I don't know what progressed me to kiss him. Maybe it was the way his Latino accent shown through or the glow of his tan skin when it hits the sun just right or maybe-Wait! Was I fantasizing about Carlos! I was in love with James! Why am I thinking like this!

I got this weird feeling something bad was happening, so I went back. I saw a figure backing a terrified Carlos into a corner. It hissed and growled at him. I hissed getting it's attention. I couldn't believe who I saw...

"Muffy?"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Kendall PoV-

It couldn't be true. Muffy was dead! I blinked and she was gone. I looked at Carlos and he was shaking in the corner. I ran and hugged him.

"Its okay. She's gone now."

"I-I th-thought she was s-suppose to be d-dead."

"Me too, honey...me too." He hugged me tighter.

"I'm scared, K-Kendall."

"I'm here. Don't worry about it. Nothing's going to hurt you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

James PoV-

I ran to the place we left Muffy and walked around. It was midnight and no one was there. I climbed a tree and sat at the top. It was beautiful outside; full moon, bright stars, and the night air smelled good.

I felt the tree move, I looked down and there was a girl sitting against it. I got down slowly, without making a sound, and put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped up and hissed. I almost cried when I saw who it was.

"M-Muffy?"

"James?"

"I thought I killed you." I walked over to her.

"You did. Luckily, you're a newborn and don't know how to control your venom yet." She smiled. "I-" I hugged her and cried.

"I thought you were gone forever." She hugged back.

"James, I'm fine. I just didn't know you cared so much."

"What makes you think I didn't care?" I looked down at her.

"You never did come back here and you didn't ever think about me..." She frowned.

"I never came back, because I couldn't bear with the guilt and sadness that was here. I thought about you every waking second. Which is a lot seeing how vampires don't sleep." I smiled and she laughed a bit. "There were times I even considered killing myself."

"You shouldn't think like that..." I frowned. "Oh! I have an idea...Stay here with me." She smiled.

"I-I cant. Kendall's going to be worried and-"

"Please? Just for the night? We can climb trees, look at the stars, and maybe go for midnight snacks."

"I..."

"Come on. It'll be fun." She poked my stomach.

"O-Okay."

"Yays! Anyway, I'm hungry."

"You look it."

"What do you mean?"

"Your eyes are red and your fangs are showing." I laughed.

"Sorry...but lets go." She dragged me.

"Okay, okay."

We went around town, looking for food. We couldn't find anyone walking about and Muffy was going crazy.

"I haven't eaten since I woke up and if I don't eat soon, I'm going to die!" She panicked.

Then I remembered, vampires have blood running through their system just like humans.

"Bite me."

"What?" She stepped back.

"Vampires have blood just like humans do...Bite me."

"I'll kill you, James. With how I am-"

I cut my neck with my fingernail, drawing blood. Her eyes went wild. She ran over and began drinking my blood. It may sound weird, but it felt good. So good, it made me moan. I began getting weaker and weaker as she drained more of my blood.

"Muffy...that's enough." She didn't hear me. "Enough!" I pushed her back and I healed instantly.

"I'm sorry." She frowned.

I stepped closer to her, wiped my blood off her chin with my thumb, and tasted it.

"Mm...I do taste good." I smiles and she laughed.

Logan PoV-

He didn't come back that night or part of the next day. He finally came home and looked...happy.

"Where have you been! I've been worried sick!"

"Places." He smiles, sighed, and went to his room.

A few minutes later, he came out. Wearing his favorite white v-neck, skinny jeans, and flip-flops. His hair was brushed out, looking beautiful again.

"You feelin okay?" I felt his forehead.

"Yeah. I feel great!" He smiled. "Why?"

"You seem happy again."

"Okay." He walked out the door.

I followed him to the studio and saw Kendall and Carlos sitting on the bean bag chairs, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey." James made them jumped.

"Hey. Why are you so happy?"

"You'll never guess!"

"What?"

"Muffy's alive!" I was shocked.

"Yeah, we know."

"You knew!"

"She tried to kill Carlos last night. I stopped her and she ran away."

"I don't believe it! She's alive!" I blurted out, but they ignored me.

"James, I don't want you anywhere near her. I don't want you to talk nor see her anymore."

"You cant tell me what to do!"

"I created you, so I can!"

"I will se her if I want to!" He started to walk away, but Kendall jumped in front of him.

"No!" He growled. "You wont!"

"Move!" James shoved him back, then Kendall went after him.

They began fighting; clawing, hissing, growling, and snapping. Carlos ran over and hugged me. Kendall slammed James against the wall, making it crack. I could se James face; it scared the hell out of me. He looked so evil, with darkness in his eyes; they were pitch black. He threw Kendall into the corner and started walking towards him. He picked him up by his neck and began crushing him.

"James, stop it!" A girl's voice screamed. I turned around and it was Muffy. "Let him go..."

He set him down slowly and was behind Muffy in a split second. He wrapped his arms around her, ran his nose up her neck, and whimpered. He looked up, grinned, and they both left.

"Kendall!" I ran to him. "Are you okay?"

"He...He wanted to kill me." He stood up. "Did you see the way he acted with her!"

"That scared me." Carlos frowned and teared up."

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Kendall hugged him.

"Are you okay?" Carlos looked up.

"I guess so. My neck is going to hurt for a bit."

"He bruised you." Carlos touched his neck.

"It'll heal in a few." Sure enough, it did. "I'll be back later. I'm going to go." He frowned and left.

"What did you dogs do to my studio!" Gustavo yelled.

"We-"

"Clean it up!" We nodded and started cleaning.

Kendall PoV-

I picked up James scent and followed it to the place we left Muffy. I hid so he wouldn't see me. He was twirling her around, making her laugh. She whispered something into his ear and he nodded. He pinned her against the tree and...And was he kissing her!

I couldn't stay there and watch any longer. I went back to the crib, ran to my room, and slammed the door behind me. I kicked and punched the wall. Carlos came running in and grabbed my wrists.

"Kendall, stop it! Just stop it!" I calmed down. "What in the hell is going on!"

"I-I saw..."

"What did you see?"

"I saw James...kissing Muffy."

"Kendall, James is gay. He wouldn't kiss a girl. Besides, he loves you." I frowned. "You do know that, right?"

"I-I don't know... He tried to kill me and-"

"He loves you. Never forget that." He looked at me.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I didn't mean to kiss you the other day."

"Its fine. I didn't mind it." He smiles.

His smiles made my knees weak. I didnt know why it did, though. I sat on the edge of my bed.

"You okay?"

"Y-Yeah. Can I tell you something and you not freak out?"

"Yes." He sat beside me.

"I don't know what it is, but...you're smiles makes my knees weak and the glow of your tan skin makes me melt. I don't know why it does that to me, it just does."

"I-I don't know what to say. D-Do you l-love me?"

"No...Well, I don't think so."

"It wont hurt to see." He smiled.

Carlos PoV-

I really didn't know what to say. The fact I made his knees weak and made him melt was...was-I didn't have any words.

His lips brushed against mine then we kissed. We parted our lips, deepening our kiss. It wasn't suppose to go this far. He pulled me onto his lap as I put my fingers through his hair. He ran his hand up my shirt making me shiver at the touch of his cold skin against mine. I felt him smirk in the kiss, then he pulled away and began kissing my neck. He stood up and pressed me against the wall, making me let out a slight moan. He kissed up my neck, to my jaw line, and then my lips. He put his hands inside my shirt and ran them up my sides. He pulled away and looked at me.

"You're making me hungry." He smiled, showing his fangs.

"Then bite me."

"What?"

"I want to feel what its like to be bitten...and you're the only one I trust.

"...Okay."

He pressed his lips against my neck, parted them slightly, and then bit me. I took in a shuddery breath as his fangs penetrated my skin. He began draining my blood and it was a feeling that I couldn't describe. I moaned loudly and he stopped. He licked the bite mark, making it heal instantly.

"Why did you let me do that?: He laid his head in the crook of neck.

"I wanted to feel what it was like."

"And?" He looked up at me.

"It felt like...like I don't know how to describe it. It was pleasurable."

"Never let me do that again."

"Why?"

"Because...if you didn't make a sound, I wouldn't have stopped." He frowned.

I put my hand on his cheek and he leaned into my touch. I could see the sorrow and guilt in his emerald green eyes. They flashed red and he gasped.

"James." He ran out the window.

"Kendall..." He was gone.

Kendall PoV-

I swear something told me that James was in trouble, but when I got there...He was fine; laughing and carrying on with Muffy. I ran over to him and he smiled.

"Hey." He looked up.

"Hey..."

"What's wrong?"

"I thought you would attack me for being close to her."

"Why would I do that?"

"This morning you tried to kill me."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. Muffy stopped you before you could completely crush me."

"I wouldn't hurt you like that." He stood up in front of me and held my hand.

"You honestly don't remember?"

"I swear...I would never hurt you like that, Kendall."

I saw Muffy mumbled something, but I ignored it and hugged James. He hugged back and his grip got tighter and tighter, crushing me. I tried to push him off, but the more I moved...the tighter he got.

"J-James...you're...c-cru-shing me!" I managed to get away.

I looked at him and it wasn't the same James I hugged. His skin was paler, eyes pitch black, and fangs showing. He looked like he did the first time he tried to kill me. I walked towards him, slowly.

"James, you need-" He grabbed my neck and slammed me against the tree. "Muffy! G-Get...him...o-off...of me!"

"Crush him." She said darkly.

"What! Nngh..." James tightened his grip around my neck. "J-James! S-Stop...I-it!" I cried.

"He's not going to listen to you. He under my control now." She wrapped her arms around him, putting her hands on his chest, and running her nose up his neck; making him lose his balance a bit.

"W-Why?"

"I love him and I cant have him unless you're gone." She kissed his neck.

She walked around and stood in front of James. He smiles and put his free arm around her. She leaned against him and he looked down at her. This was killing me more than he was. She smiles, turned around and kissed him; he kissed back and that was like a stake had been jabbed into my chest.

"Kill him." She walked away.

"J-James...wait!" He stopped. "I l-love...you."

He loosened his grip a bit, tilted his head to the side, and for one second...that one second, I saw my James; not Muffy's, not anyone else's...just mine.

"She said you loved Carlos-"

"No, James. I love you."

"You kissed him..."

"He thought I was a monster. I don't know why I did-"

"You still kissed him." He grabbed my neck again.

His grip got tighter and tighter. I was being crushed by the person I loved; I have never given much thought of how I would die, but dying for a stupid reason, like this wasn't what I was planning.

I looked into his eyes once more and they were black; an evil, dark, demon black. I wasn't coking, I was crushing. He could snap my neck right now, but I think there was something holding him back. I saw a small tear escaped from his eye.

"...Im...sorry." His voice squeaked.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Kendall PoV-

I was being crushed by James. He couldn't stop nor help it. He was under the control of Muffy. His grip was getting tighter and tighter. I could feel my bones crushing in my neck.

"You haven't killed him yet?" Muffy was at his side and he looked at her. "Do it...now!" She growled.

The last thing I saw was a tear going down his eye, and then everything went completely black.

James PoV-

He dropped to the ground and I looked at Muffy.

"Very good, James." Muffy grinned.

"Why did you make me do that?"

"He tried to tear us apart." She frowned.

"It's a good thing I did what I did then."

I smiled and kissed her. She kissed back, wrapping her arms around my neck as I cupped her face, deepening the kiss. I pulled away and looked at her.

"I love you."

"Really?"

"More than anything in the world." I smiled.

"I love you too."

"Come on." I grabbed her hand.

"Where are we going?"

"I want to tell Logan and Carlos about us."

"Do you think they'll be mad?"

"Nah...Lets go."

We got to the crib and met up with Logan and Carlos. They looked at us and I smiled.

"Hey guys."

"What's up?" Carlos stood up with an empty plate in his hand.

"I've got some great news." I hugged Muffy from behind.

"What's that?" He started walking towards the kitchen.

"Muffy and I...are dating now."

Carlos dropped the plate, shattering it. He lost his balance a bit and looked at me.

"What! What about Kendall!"

"What about him?"

"You loved him."

"No, I didnt. I've always loved Muffy." I kissed her on her cheek.

"Where's Kendall?"

"I...I killed him." He laughed.

"Stop joking with me. Seriously, where is he?" I looked down. "Please tell me you're joking!" I shook my head.

"James, why!" Logan screamed.

"He tried to tear us apart. He-" Carlos knocked me to the ground and pinned me down; I hissed.

"Why did you do it! He was your best friend! You could've ran away with her and left him alone!" he started to cry.

"He would've followed me."

"You could've told us about it and we...we would've handled it! You didn't have to kill him!"

"You loved him."

"...No, but he loved me!"

"I told you, James. Kendall didn't love you; He loved Carlos." Muffy grinned.

"L-Logan, shut her up!"

I glanced over at Logan and he shoved her into the closet, blocking the door with himself.

"No!" I tried to get up, but Carlos was too strong.

Its kind of funny actually. A human stronger than a vampire. I guess his anger, his sadness, and his love for Kendall was stronger than I thought.

"Let me go!" I growled.

"No, James! Not until you admit that you loved Kendall!"

"I never did! I love Muffy! Why cant you accept that!"

"You love Kendall, James! You need to snap out of whatever it is and realize it!"

"Snap out of what? I'm perfectly fine." I grinned, showing my fangs.

Then I felt a pain in my head and saw a flash. I looked up to se Carlos pinning me to the ground.

"C-Carlos? What are you doing on top of me?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me. You know exactly why."

"Honestly, I don't know."

"Well, let me refresh your memory, Mister 'I killed Kendall because-"

"I did what!"

"You honestly don't remember..."

"I swear."

Carlos PoV-

I got off of him and helped him up. I looked at his eyes and they were hazel again. When I was fighting with him, they were black.

"Let me out of this damn closet!" Muffy screamed and banged on the door.

"Who's in there?" James looked at Logan.

"Muffy."

"What? Let her out."

Logan let her out and she was beside James in a split second.

"What happened?" James looked at her.

"I-I don't know. One minute Carlos was pinning you to the ground and then I was being shoved into a closet."

"What went on in here?" He looked at me.

I explained everything to him and he looked shocked.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Muffy and I are NOT dating! She's like a sister to me."

"You also said I was like a brother and you know where that went." I smirked as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Y-Yeah, well that was different."

"James..." Muffy whimpered.

"Yes?" He looked at her.

"They're making me hungry." I backed away.

"Damn it, Carlos. Why did you shatter the freakin plate?" Logan started picking up the plate, apparently didn't hear what Muffy had said. "Ow! Damn it!" He cut himself.

I looked at Muffy and her eyes went wild. James grabbed her as I grabbed Logan.

"Muffy, stop it! Please...stop it." She looked at him and calmed down.

I bandaged Logan up and looked at James. Muffy was hugging him from behind, running her nose up his neck, and whimpering.

"Its okay." James whispered to her.

"No, it not! She almost killed him!" I yelled.

Muffy whispered something into his ear. I looked at his eyes and they started shading back to black. He glared at me and hissed.

"She couldn't help it! She doesn't know how to control herself yet!"

Whatever she said, made him turn on me. It wasn't the same James that held her back. It was the one that admitted to killing Kendall.

"Baby, don't yell at him. He's just looking after his love." She said.

"I'm sorry." He looked at her. "I was just looking after mine too."

"I love you for that." She kissed his neck.

"I love you too." He kissed her hand.

"What the-"

"Shut up, Carlos! I love her! Why cant you realize that!"

"What about Kendall! You're not even sad he's dead!"

"No. Now get off my case before I let Muffy attack Logan." I glared.

"James!" Logan screamed.

"I'm sorry, but if it comes down to it, I will let her." He tilted his head to the side and was standing next to me before I could blink. "What happened to your neck?" he touched my bite mark.

"N-Nothing." I covered it up with my hand. "I-Its nothing."

"Move your hand." I did as he said and he ran his nose up my neck. "Kendall...Kendall did this to you?"

"...Yes. Right before he left." A tear ran down my cheek.

"Why did he do it?"

"I-I ask h-him to." I turned around and cried into his shirt. "Now, I'm N-never going t-to see him ag-gain...because of y-you!" I hit him over and over again.

He hugged me tighter as I cried more and more.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"S-Sorry is N-not going to b-bring him back!"

"I'll take it from here, James." He backed away and Logan hugged me.

"I'm going to go." James whispered.

When he left, I cried harder.

James PoV-

"I didn't mean to make him cry, Muffy."

"Its okay, baby. You know he's very emotional." She hugged me from behind and laid her head into the crook of my neck. "I love you."

"I love you." I kissed up and down her neck.

"Just...bite me." She pleaded.

I pressed my lips against her cold skin, parted them slightly, and bit her. I began drinking her blood; it was sweet and spicy all at once. She moaned and griped my shirt. I removed my fangs and she healed. She looked at me and smiled.

"You have a little blood..." She pointed to the corner of her mouth.

"Oh..."

"I'll get it." She kissed me then licked the blood from my mouth. "May I?" She ran her finger up my neck.

"Yes, my love."

She pressed her lips against my neck, patted them slightly, and bit me. Once her fangs penetrated my skin, she leaned me against a tree.

"Muffy..." I moaned as she began drinking my blood.

This wasn't like the feeling when she first drank my blood; it felt sexual. I placed my hands on the tree and moaned loudly. She removed her fangs and licked up my neck, making my shudder and grip the tree. She ran her hands up my shirt slowly, making goosebumps appear all over my body.

"You're mine now." I felt her smile as she kissed my neck.

"What...do you...mean?" She stopped and looked at me.

"You know that feeling that you just felt?" Her warm breath felt good against my ear. "It was an imprint. Now nothing can separate us..."

"Wait a second...Kendall died, I made Carlos cry, and this is what you do to me?" She frowned.

"I love it." I looked at her.

"What?"

"You took my mind off of everything.

I kissed her and she kissed back. It was like we kissed for an eternity.

Carlos PoV-

I was hurting so much inside. Kendall was gone, James wasn't James anymore...I just wanted to die. I would trade places with Kendall in a heart beat. He was my best friend, brother...and lover.

Everything lost all meaning after that night. Life was dull, a dark cloud hovered over me. I never laugh, smile, or kiss Logan anymore.

"Come on, Carlos. We can go for corndogs." Logan smiled.

"...No. I don't want corndogs." I rolled over in the bed and faced the shades, which were blocking the light from coming in.

He walked over to them and pulled the string, making them go up. The light hit my eyes and it felt like I being blinded it hurt so bad. I covered my head with the comforter and groaned.

"You haven't been outside into two days. You need some fresh air."

"...Can you open the window?" I peeked out.

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Okay, okay." He opened it.

I stood up and walked over to it. I took in a deep breath and then looked at him.

"There. I've had my fresh air. I'm going back to bed."

"No you're not!" He grabbed my wrist. You are not going to mope around here anymore!"

"Why are you y-yelling at m-me!" I started to cry.

Over the past couple of days, I have become very sensitive. The slightest angry tone, I break down into tears.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to." He hugged me.

"I just m-miss him so much."

"I know, baby. I know."

"H-How are you dealing with th-this so well?" I looked at him.

"I just know that if I think or dwell on it all the time, I'm going to get know where." He wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"Where do you think James is?"

"Probably out with his damn girlfriend." He looked outward.

"I don't like Muffy." I hugged him.

"Me neither, honey."

"I have a bad feeling about her. When James is around her, he changes. She whispered something into his ear and his eyes glazed over black and he turned on me."

"I thought I was the only who noticed that."

"Let go talk to Neil."

"Who?"

"He's a guy that...K-Kendall told me about. He works at the blood bank. Kendall said if anything happened to him, talk to Neil. He'll know what to do."

We went to the blood bank and saw a tall, dark haired man at the desk.

"Neil?"

"Yes. How may I help you?"

"I'm Carlos and this is Logan. We're friends of-"

"Kendall. I know."

"He...He.." I couldn't say it.

"Kendall's dead." Logan finished my sentence.

"I know." I looked at him. "Do you want to see him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Follow me."

We followed him to a room with a body under a sheet. He looked at me and uncovered him to his shoulders.

"Kendall..." I hugged Logan and cried more.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

James PoV-

I knew that I loved Muffy and she loved me, but when I killed Kendall I felt a pain in my chest. I didn't know why I felt like. I still have this empty feeling inside of me; it wont go away.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Muffy looked up at me as we were gazing at the stars. "You've been acting weird ever since you killed Kendall."

"I just..." I propped my back on the tree behind me.

"Just what?" I looked at her. "Tell me."

"I feel empty. Like there's something missing."

"I can fix that." She smiled.

She straddled across my lap and kissed me. I kissed back, grabbing her hips, and pulling her closer to me. She put her hands through my hair, licking my bottom lip. I opened my mouth and my tongue tangled with hers. She pressed her sweet petite body against mine as I ran my hands up her sides, inside her shirt, and rubbed her bare back. I pulled away and began kissing her neck. I ran my fangs up her neck, making red marks appear. I kissed her again and licked up her neck slowly. She moaned as I nipped her neck, lightly, with my teeth.

"You like that?" I teased as I nuzzled my head against her neck.

"Yes." She growled.

"Want me to do it again?" I kissed her neck.

"You know that I want you to." She hissed.

I nipped her neck, lightly, with my teeth and she moaned. I licked her neck and she whimpered. She moved closer to me, griping the sleeves of my shirt.

"There are so many things...that I want to do to you right now..." I growled, gripped her hips tighter, and kissed her neck again.

"What's stopping you?"

"I could hurt you." I looked at her.

"No, you couldn't. You wouldn't do that, you know it. So, come on."

She dragged me to my room and kissed me passionately. I kissed back and ripped shirt off in one swift movement. She came out of kissing long enough to remove my shirt, and then she kissed me again. She laid backwards on the bed and I ran my hand up her side. She removed my pant, revealing my boxers, and I removed her shorts. I slid my hand slowly up her leg, to her side, and down her arm to entwine my fingers with hers.

I pulled away and kissed up her stomach, to her chest, going to her neck. She arched her back, tilting her head up. I licked her neck and she scratched my shoulder with her nails. I groaned and began, lightly, nipping her stomach, chest, and neck. She moaned loudly, letting out a slight whimper. I kissed her lips softly as she ran her hand up my check and placed it on my neck. She kissed back just as sweet and tightened her fingers through mine.

"I love you." She sighed in the kiss.

"I love you."

I pulled away and she opened her eyes. I looked into her chocolate brown eyes and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"I never thought I could love someone...as much as I love you." I brushed my lips against hers.

"Really?"

"Yes." Then we made love.

Logan PoV-

We were standing there, looking at Kendall's body. He didn't look any different; he looked like the say guy that I knew before he left.

Suddenly, he gasped and sat up, coughing and holding his throat. Carlos let go of me and hugged Kendall, tightly.

"Kendall! I missed you so much!"

"Who-Who are you?"

"Its me, Carlos?" Kendall shook his head. "You don't remember me..." Carlos frowned.

"I'm sorry...I don't know any of you."

"What about James?"

"...No." He frowned.

"...I have an idea! Neil, Logan...Can you guys give us a minute?"

"Sure. Just cal us when you're done." I smiled.

We left out the door and I talked to Neil.

"What happened?"

"James crushed him and I found him lying under a tree." He frowned.

"Oh gosh."

Carlos PoV-

I needed him to remember and there was only one way to do that.

"Do you remember anything?"

"No." He stood up and lost his balance.

I caught him and he looked at me. His glowing red eyes were so beautiful, I couldn't looked away.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Don't be..."

His lips brushed against mine and we kissed. I griped his shirt as he put a hand on the side of my neck. He came out of kissing and looked at me.

"C-Carlos?" His eyes were emerald green again.

"You remember me?"

"Yeah...Logan, Neil, and everyone else."

"That's a relief. I thought-" He kissed me again.

He pressed me against the table and ran his hands up my sides. I kissed back as I felt a fang cut my bottom lip. He licked the blood and as we kissed, he began drinking it. I moaned and griped his shirt. He pulled away and looked at me.

"I'm sorry." He frowned and backed away.

"Its okay." I wiped the blood off.

"Where's James?"

"I don't know. Last time I saw him, he was with Muffy." He grimaced at that.

"What did you guys tell my mom?"

"You and James went on vacation together."

"Did she buy it?"

"Yep. Bought it like a pair of shoes marked down from five hundred dollars to twenty." He just looked at me.

Okay, yeah. I admit, that was lame.

"I'm going to go find him."

"Not without me."

"Carlos, I-"

"You need my help. If something goes wrong, I'll be there to help."

"Two vampires against one and a human? I don't-"

"I'm going, Kendall."

Kendall PoV-

I was out for days. Who knows what James has done already. He probably thinks I'm still dead or he out hunting for me.

"Neil, I need to go." I begged.

"Kendall, you're not strong enough to take on a vampire like James."

"What do you mean, 'like James'?" I air-quoted.

"He's too strong."

"I can do this!"

"No!" I glared at him. "...Not without some help, you're not." He smirked.

"What do-Oh no! No way! You guys are _not_ going to get hurt."

"I would die, if it brought James back!" Carlos pointed to the sky and I put my hand to my forehead.

"Carlos, we've had this discussion already. You and Logan are not going."

"What about Neil?"

"He's not going either. Look, I have to go." I looked at Carlos.

"What if you don't come back?" He frowned.

"Just know that I love you guys and tell me mom...James and I decided to move away."

"Bye..." They both said.

I ran to the door and stopped. I took in a deep breath, ran back to Carlos, and kissed him passionately. I left before anything was said. I ran to my 'death' spot and saw James kissing Muffy passionately, with her on his lap.

"James?" He ignored me. "James!"

He stopped kissing her and looked at me. They both were in shock. Muffy glared, growled, and hissed.

"I though we had gotten rid of you." She growled again.

"How are you still alive?" James stood up.

He didn't glare, his, growl, or do anything like that. His face was sweet, caring, and soft.

"You didn't crush my whole body..."

"What! James, why didn't you kill him!"

"I'm sorry! I thought he was dead! You were standing there...why didn't you say something!"

"I didn't know!"

"Neither did I!" They glare at eachother. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that." He kissed her.

"Still standing here."

"Kendall, I m-m...nevermind." He frowned.

"No...What?" I walked towards him.

"I..."

"He wants you to go away." Muffy smarted off at me.

"You know what! I'm getting tired of your crap! So, why don't you shut up and let him talk!" She shut up.

James PoV-

Kendall was alive! When I saw him, that empty feeling went away.

"What did you want to tell me?"

"I missed you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I missed you trying to make me love you." I smiled.

"Oh..."

"James, I don't feel so good." Muffy grabbed her stomach.

"What's wrong?" I looked at her.

"I don't know...Whoa! I swear, something just moved inside of me!"

"What!" I looked at her worried.

"What's wrong, James?" Kendall looked at me.

"I-I don't know!"

"Come on. Help me get her to the blood bank."

"You want to help her?"

"You love her and I would do anything to help you figure out whats going on."

We got her to the blood bank and Kendall talked to a guy.

"Neil, we need your help."

"Ow! Damn it!" Muffy feel to her knees in pain.

"What's wrong?"

"We don't know. She said she felt something move inside of her." I picked her up carefully.

"Bring her here and put her on the table."

I put her on the table and held her hand. Neil placed his hands on her stomach and stood still. He gasped and jerked his hand back.

"What happened!" I freaked.

"I-I swear something moved!"

He pulled a machine over to the table and Muffy freaked.

"What the hell is that!"

"Its an ultra-sound. Its going to show us whats going on."

"Baby, you have to calm down." And she did.

He ran the remote thing over her stomach, making an image appear. It looked like...a body. I gasped.

"Its not possible! Is it?"

"What exactly have you done?" Neil looked at us.

"We...um...had sex."

"Okay, but this wouldn't happen unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you've imprinted."

"Have you imprinted with eachother?" Kendall looked at me.

"What does it look like Kendall! Yes!"

"So...Im pregnant?" Muffy looked at Neil.

"...Yes." He frowned.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Kendall PoV:

I was standing there, listening to what Neil had to say. Muffy was pregnant; James was the father.

"So, I'm pregnant?" She asked.

"...Yes."

I stumbled a little and propped against the door. I wanted to cry so badly, but I couldn't let anyone see me break down like that.

"Did you know this would happen!" James yelled at her.

"Baby, I swear, I didn't! If I knew, do you think I would've done it?" She sat up.

"No...What do we do now?"

"I don't know. Should we get rid of him?"

"Yes!" I screamed.

"Kendall, shut up! Everybody out! We need to discuss this." James yelled.

We all left the room and I sat in the corner. An hour past and they came out, smiling.

"Well?" Carlos stood up.

"We...have decided to keep him." James smiled.

I stood up and ran away as fast as I could. I climbed a tree, sat there, and cried. I never stopped crying for about ten minutes.

"Kendall?" I looked up to see James sitting in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah." I turned my head away.

"No, you're not. Look at me." He put his hand on my chek and turned my head to face him.

I wanted to kiss him so badly, but if I did, he would push me away and leave. He wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"Something's bothering you. Is it the fact-"

"I-I try to tell you that I love you, but you wont listen to me." I frowned.

"I'm listening now. Talk to me." He wiped away more of my tears as he smiled.

"You're under Muffy's control, I love you, and you wont-" He kissed me, then pushed me back. "Wh-Why did you do that?"

"To make you shut up."

"Do it again..." I begged.

He kissed me again, I kissed back, and he leaned forward like he wanted more.

Carlos PoV-

Kendall ran out and James went after him. Muffy was pregnant and Logan wasn't talking to me. He saw, well everybody in the room saw, Kendall kiss me before he left.

"Logan, talk to me. I-"

"Ow!" Muffy grabbed her head. "Uh-oh." She left.

"Come on. Lets follow her."

We followed her to see James hugging Kendall tightly.

"James, is everything okay?" Muffy asked.

"No...No, its not." He turned around. "You lied to me. You used me. How could you do that?" He let go of Kendall.

"James, I-"

"You know that I love Kendall. Why cant you except that?"

"Because I love you."

"If you really love me, then you would let me be happy. You would let me-"

She walked towards him and put her hand on his cheek. His whole expression changed; He turned mean, his eyes glowed, and his fangs grew. He hissed at Kendall and pinned him to the ground.

"James, stop it!" Kendall cried.

Kendall PoV-

James was back to normal until Muffy touch him.

"You manipulated me into thinking that I actually loved you!" He snapped at my neck.

"Muffy is the one-" He dug his nails into my wrists harder.

"Don't blame her for anything!" He growled.

"James! Please!" Tears ran down my face. "Y-You're hurting me!"

He blinked his eye and they were hazel again.

"K-Kendall?"

"You're h-hurting me!" I cried harder.

He stood up and pulled me into his arms. I gripped his shirt and cried more.

"I'm sorry..." He said over and over.

"James, I-"

He let me go and tackled Muffy, pinning her to the ground, making it crack beneath her. She began laughing; her laugh was like a song, beautiful and I heard her voice with it.

"Get him off of me!" It growled, then a shock went through my head and I wanted to kill.

I looked at James and he was pinning Muffy to the ground.

"Kendall, help me." Her voice echoed in my head.

I ran over and threw James off of her. He looked at me confused-like as I helped her up and held her close. I looked at her and kissed her passionately.

"Kendall, you have to snap out of this!" James teared up.

"You need to leave me the hell alone!" I smarted off.

"I love you."

"And you think that I love you?" I laughed. "You are nothing to me."

"Muffy, stop this! Leave him alone! I...I'll take his place, if you let him go..." He frowned.

"Really?' She looked at him with a raised brow.

"Yes! Just please...please, let him go."

She let go of me and another shock went through my head. I blinked and I couldn't remember what happened. All I remember was blacking out when James attacked her.

"Wh-What happened?" I looked at Neil

"James gave up his freedom for yours."

"No! James, why did you do that!" I looked at him.

"I wanted-" Muffy held his hand and he looked at her. "I missed you. Never leave me like that again."

"Wanted what? James, what did you want?"

"For you to go away!" He glared at me.

I gasped and laughed. Carlos walked over to me and whispered...

"I know what would get his attention." He smirked.

"What-"

"Hey, James!" James looked over at us. "What do you think about this?

Carlos pulled me closer and pressed his lips against mine. I put my hands on the back of his head and kissed him back. He licked my lip and I opened my mouth to let my tongue tangle with his.

James PoV-

I was watching them kiss. It looked so passionate and so meaningful. It definitely got my attention. I looked over at Logan and he was walking away, crying.

A shock went through my head and I couldn't remember anything. I saw Kendall kissing Carlos, Logan walking away, and Neil staring at me.

"I'm going to go check on Logan. Be right back." I whispered to Muffy.

"Okay." She understood.

I caught up with Logan in a dark alley, where no-one could see us. He was sitting on a chair crying.

"Hey..." I made him jump.

"H-Hey."

"What's wrong?" I knelt down in front of him.

I-I don't th-think Carl-los loves m-me." He cried.

"Yes, he does."

"No, he doesn't!"

"Everything's going to be okay, Logie."

"Show m-me! Show me th-that everything-" I pressed my lips against his.

He cupped my face with his hands and lifted me from kneeling. He kissed back, pulling me onto his lap, and gripping my shirt.

"James..." He sighed in pleasure.

I pressed my hips against his and he moaned softly. I did it again, only this time, harder and he moaned loudly as he dug his nails into my skin. He licked my lip and I opened my mouth to let my tongue tangle with his. He pulled my hips closer to his, giving us the friction that we both desperately needed.

"I want you..." He growled.

I pulled away and began kissing his neck. I slowly licked up his neck and he sighed. I put my hands on his sides and kissed his neck more.

"Bite...me..." He groaned.

I parted my lips and my fangs penetrated his skin.

Logan PoV-

He bit me and began drinking my blood. I felt a tingling sensation, which made me moan loudly. I pulled his hips closer and pressed them hard against mine. I clenched down harder into his skin and made him lean closer to me. He licked my neck, healing the bite, and kissed my neck again. I stood up and pressed myself against the wall, still gripping his hips.

I kissed him passionately and he kissed back. I pulled his body closer to mine and he pushed his hips closer to mine, harder. We didn't have near as much friction as we needed, which made us groan loudly in desperation.

Carlos PoV -

I backed away from my intense kiss with Kendall and noticed that James and Logan were gone, Muffy was sitting on the ground puling up grass, piece by piece, and Neil was watching her.

"Where's James?" Kendall looked at Neil.

"He went to go check on Logan. He'll be back in a few." He kept his eyes on Muffy.

"I'm sorry..." I looked at Kendall and frowned. "I-I wasn't thinking when I kissed you. Lets promise to never do that again."

"Deal. I'm going to go check on them." Neil stopped him.

"James can handle it. Let them be."

"Okay, but what do we do about her?"

"In order for her to stop doing what she's doing...we have to kill her."

"How do we do that?

"We'll play her, then when she's vulnerable, we snap her neck."

"Perfect. I'll do it."

Kendall walked up to her and she stood up.

"What's up?" She smiled.

"You know, I just realized something..." He brushed her hair behind her ear. "When you had me under you control, I like it. I felt powerful and most of all...I was with you."

"What?"

"It may seem that I love James, but when I'm around you...I get butterflies in my stomach." He put a hand on her cheek.

"...Really?"

"Yeah." He kissed her and then looked at her.

"Carlos, don't watch." Neil covered my eyes with his hands.

I heard a snap and a thump, then I heard a loud scream that sounded like James.

"James!" Kendall gasped.

Neil removed his hands from my eyes, ran over, and lit Muffy's dead body on fire; Kendall was gone.

Kendall PoV-

I heard James scream and I ran to find him. I found both him and Logan in an alley. James was on the ground, grabbing his head and screaming, in pain.

"James!" I knelt down beside him. "James, look at me!"

"It...h-hurts! Th-This pain...is k-killing me!" He screamed.

"I know, baby." I put my hand on his chest.

"What happened?" Logan looked at me.

"Muffy's dead."

"Wh-What! NO!" James shot up and ran.

"James, wait!" I ran after him.

I followed him and saw her body burning.

"NO!" James cried and headed towards the fire.

"James, stop!" I grabbed him back.

"Muffy! N!" He fell to his knees and cried. "No..."

"James, I'm sorry."

"Why did you do that!" He stood up and glared at me with tears in his glowing eyes.

"She never would've stopped controlling you."

"You didn't have to kill her!"

"James, I-"

"I hate you!" He screamed and left.

That was the last time I saw him.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

James PoV-

It has been a year since I saw Muffy's body burn. I haven't talked to anyone, except my victims. I would talk about my problems, luring them to come with me, and then I would feed on their delicious blood. Its become a habit, an addiction. I cant go for more than an hour without feeding again. Which reminds me, Im hungry now; Its been at least thirty minutes since my last meal and I see the perfect target.

"Hello there. " I hissed and she turned around.

She was so beautiful; Long brown hair, ocean blue eyes, and looked so innocent. For some reason, I held back my urge to bite her.

"Hi." She smiled.

"What are you doing out here this time of night?" I asked.

"What are you doing out here?" She smirked.

"I asked first." I smiled.

I didn't know why I was being so nice to her.

"To be honest….I don't know." She sat down.

"What do you mean?" I sat next to her.

"Not saying until you answer my question." She looked at me.

"Im hungry…" I looked at her.

"For what exactly?"

"Ah, ah, ah! My question first." I smiled. "You know what? Lets make it a game. You answer my questions, I answer yours."

"Deal." She seemed excited.

"Your turn."

"Oh, right. Duh!" She giggled. "What was-"

What do you mean by, 'I don't know'?"

"Well, this is going to sound stupid… I've always had this fascination with…Vampires…and for some strange reason, I keep walking the streets in the hopes to find one. People think they aint real, but I know they are." She sounded determined. "Oh! Im Melissa, by the way."

"James." I smiled.

"Your turn. What are you hungry for this late at night?"

"...Th-This was a bad idea. I-Ive got to go." I stood up.

"Wait!" She grabbed my hand, gasped, and let go. "Y-Your skin…Its freezing." I frowned and left.

What the hell was I thinking!? I should've bitten her while I had the chance…but now I cant. I have already become too attached to her. Ive never wanted a human's blood so much in my entire Vampire life. Her answer to why she was out, shocked me. I couldn't tell her what I was. If I told her, I would have to kill her for the fear of her telling everyone she meets and I-I don't think that I could do that.

Sure, Logan and Carlos knew, but they were my best friends. They would never tell anyone. The kiss between me and Logan, you ask? It meant nothing to me, it was just to make him feel better, which I believe it did. All of those memories have faded away. I have no use or any reason for them anymore. 'What about Kendall?' You may ask also. Kendall…let me tell you what I think about Kendall. I hate him! He killed my best friend and my unborn child! Im sure its killing him right now that Im not there beside him, well you know what? I couldn't care less!

Kendall PoV-

Ive been telling myself that he's going to walk through that door and kiss me for eternity. He never did. I knew it was over, everyone of my dreams and wishes crushed. He didn't love me anymore, I knew it. He hated me and I don't blame him. I killed his best friend and his unborn child.

When I returned home, my mom hugged me and asked where James was. I cried and told her he moved away. I knew it was bad to lie to her, but I couldn't tell her what happened or what I was.

"Kendall, come on. I want to go to the park!"

"I said no, Katie! Go ask Carlos or Logan." I looked at her.

"I cant."

"Why not?"

"Logan is reading and Carlos is sleeping…and I want you to take me to the park." She tugged my arm.

"Fine!" I growled.

"Yay! Lets go." She dragged me.

Ten year old little sisters were so freakin annoying, but I loved her none the less. We arrived at the park and I watched Katie play while I sat on a bench. I sighed and looked at the ground. I heard her laugh and I looked up to see her talking to…a tree?

"Katie? Who are you talking to?" I stood up and walked over; nothing was there.

"I was talking to J-" She turned around to where she was talking. "He was right there."

"Who was right there?"

"James."

"J-James!?" I gasped.

"Yeah, I guess he disappeared."

"What did he say?"

"None of your business. It was mine and his conversation."

"What did he say!? Tell me!" I grabbed her arm.

"Ow!" She cried. "He just s-said 'hi'. Kendall, y-you're hurting me." I then realized I was hurting her and let go.

"I-Im sorry, Katie. I didn't mean to snap like that or hurt you." I hugged her.

James PoV-

I came so close to being seen by Kendall. I loved Katie like she was my sister. I asked her how everyone was and said 'hi', and joked around with her a bit.

Nightfall came and I was hungry again. I fed on three bodies before I forced myself to stop. I sat on a bench and sighed. I felt someone sit next to me.

"Hi." The voice was so familiar and her blood was so tempting.

"Hello." I looked up and was shocked. "M-Melissa?"

"James? What are you doing out here again?"

"Same as last night. You?" I sat up.

"Same thing…You never did answer my question last night. Why?"

"I, uh, had-"

"Its okay." She smiled softly. "Some people have their secrets that they want to keep."

That was a big relief. I didn't have to tell her what I ate. Her blood smelled more and more delicious the longer she sat there. I had to cover my mouth and nose with my hand to keep from biting her.

"I-Is something wrong?" She frowned.

"You smell too-"

"Bad? Horrible? Oh my gosh, I-"

"Delicious…" I growled.

"What?" I uncovered my mouth and didn't know that my fangs were showing. "You have fangs…Your skin is ice cold, and your eyes glow…I know what you are."

"Say it…"

"You're a Vampire. Am I right?"

"Yes…"

"And now that I know that…you have to kill me." She frowned.

"No." I looked at her and shook my head. "Im not going to kill you. I-I cant."

But it's what you have to do. You have to kill me."

"I cant…"

"Why not?"

"Because…Because you smell too good to me."

"Then kill me."

"No! Ive become too attached to you. I cant kill you. If I do, I will never forgive myself…ever."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No, but I did have a boyfriend…until he…" I trailed off.

"Oh…" She frowned.

"Wait, why did you sound sad when I said I had a _boyfriend_?" I smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"I, um, no reason." She laughed and smiled nervously.

"You like me." I smiled.

"I-I wouldn't go so far as-Okay. Yeah, I do."

"You really shouldn't though." I frowned.

"I cant help it. Ive become too attached to you also." She touched my cheek with her hand and I turned away.

"I could hurt you."

"Im not afraid of you. You need to realize, Im not afraid of anything." I looked at her.

"I just don't want to hurt you."

"You're not."

"But how do you know? The way that I have been killing and wanting so much blood at once. I don't know how long it will be before I snap on you."

"You wont hurt me, James. I know you-"

"You don't know me. Im a killer. I-" She put her forehead against mine and cupped my face.

"I know you well enough to know…that you wouldn't hurt me…and I trust you." She smiled softly.

"I know."

"Then whats-"

"I don't trust myself." I frowned.

"Just try…please?"

"I just-" Then she kissed me.

At that moment, it felt like my world became whole again. She tasted so sweet; I couldn't help but kiss her back. I know I just met her, but she makes me feel…happy. She came out of kissing me and I looked at her.

"Im sorry…" She frowned and sat back down.

"Don't be." I looked at her and she started giggling. Whats so funny?"

"Im in love with a Vampire." Her words made me smile.

"Y-You're in love with me?"

"Yeah."

She smiled at me and I put my arm around her, pulling her closer to me.

Carlos PoV-

I haven't seen James in over a year and Logan hasn't spoken to me since Kendall and I last kissed, which was killing me because I loved him. Yeah, I kissed Kendall…Big deal!

I walked into the room that I shared with Logan and saw him packing a backpack with clothes, bathroom stuff, and a few books. I walked over to him.

"Wh-What are you doing?" No answer. "Damn it, Logan! What the hell are you doing!?"

"…Im packing my things and moving away." He frowned and looked at me.

"Why?"

"Im tired of everything. James is gone, Kendall barely talks to any of us, and you…you don't love me anymore. You never have."

"Who the hell told you that!?"

"No one had to tell me! I saw it! Remember? You kissed Kendall with so much passion and love."

"To get James attention! I had to make it believable!"

"I don't believe you." He threw his backpack over his shoulder.

I had to think of something and fast. When he turned around, I smashed my lips against his, making him dropped the bag. I backed away and looked at him.

"Please stay…I love you."

"Carlos, I-"

"Please?" My eyes teared up.

"I-I cant." My heart shattered. "I have to go."

He picked up the backpack and left. I felt tears run down my cheeks, a lump in my throat from where I wanted to cry, and my chest ache.

Logan PoV-

I packed my things and left. I am just so tired of everything. It's taken a toll on me, making me depressed. I hated that feeling; it was so sad and meaningless.

I loved the way Carlos' lips tasted when he kissed me; they tasted salty, from where his tears trailed to his mouth. I wanted to kiss him back, but if I did…I wouldn't have been able to leave. It probably would've ended up in make-up sex.

Though, I loved the way he coated my body in kisses and the way his naughty Latino side came out at just the site of my lust filled eyes when I wanted him so badly. The way his caramel skin glowed in the moonlight which barely shown through the curtains at night and the way his skin always tasted so sweet and candy-like.

I couldn't take it anymore, the longing feeling in my heart. I decided to turn around and go back to the room, throwing my backpack into a random corner. I saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, crying. I ran over, tackled him gently, and kissed him passionately. I pulled away and looked at him, then wiped away the tears falling from his chocolate brown eyes.

"Wh-What made you ch-change your mind?" He gripped my shirt.

"I love you too much to leave and lose you."

"Y-You love me?"

"I love you, Carlos Garcia."

"I love you, Logan Mitchell."

I kissed him, he kissed me, and it went from there.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

James PoV-

I was definitely in love with Melissa by now. She was my everything; nothing else seemed to matter. I was so happy that she wasn't afraid of me.

There was something strange about her though. Whenever she would kiss me, I would feel like I would be getting weaker. I wasn't as strong or as fast as I was before I met her and fell in love with her. I needed to know what in the hell was going on! She was gone for the day so I was able to go to someone that I knew could help me, if he was willing to.

I was taking a huge risk by even thinking about going where I was going. The only person that I know would be able to help me was, Neil. The risk was when I got there, Kendall could be standing there and then he would get all crying and apologetic then I would run away and not figure out what's going on. I believe that if I didn't figure out what was going on with me, I was going to die. But I got up the courage in going anyway. I didn't care if Kendall was there, I needed to know!

"Neil."

"How may I-James!" He gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help."

"Why should I help you?" He glared.

"Because….Because I think Im dying."

"What makes you say something like that, James?"

"There's this girl, she's human. Her name is Melissa Hunter and I-"

"Hunter!?"

"Yeah, why?"

"James, she isn't human!" He slammed a book on the desk, which made me jump at the startling sound.

"W-What do you mean? She looks like one, talks like one; she doesn't come across as a monster to me."

"She's a Succubus.

"Come again?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Succubi are female demons that feed off of the sexual tension that's given off when they kiss their mate or anybody else they come in physical contact with!"

"So that's what's making me weaker and weaker?"

"You need to kill her, James."

"I-I cant!"

"Why not!?"

"I love her!" I growled.

"No, you don't! She wants-" He glanced over at the door and took a step back, so I turned around to see what he was afraid of.

"Melissa!" I shouted with happiness. "What are you doing here, sweetie?"

"You didn't come back, so I came looking for you." She smiled. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it is. I was just on my way out." I glared back at Neil.

"Remember what I said, James. You need to do it!" He glared back.

"DO what, James?" Melissa looked innocently at me.

"Nothing, sweetheart. Lets just get out of here." I put my arm around her and we both left.

I started thinking about something strange. How did she know exactly where to find me? SO, I stopped and turned to her as she smiled at me.

"H-How did you know where I was?"

"I followed you."

"No, you didn't. You said I was gone when you got back."

"I asked around."

"First you say you followed me. Now you said you asked around?"

"James, I-"

"Do you know how to kill a Succubus?"

"W-What!?"

"I think Neil might be one and he's been getting on my nerves."

"James…" She laughed. "There's no such thing as a 'male succubus'."

"How do you know that?"

"Because Im-" She stopped at that.

"You're what?" I looked into her eyes.

"Im…James, I haven't been totally honest with you." She frowned.

"Oh really?"

"I-Im a Succubus…"

"You don't say?" I crossed my arms, still looking at her.

"You knew!?"

"Not until a few minutes ago! I went to Neil, because every time we kiss, I feel like Im getting weaker and I think Im dying from it!"

"James, Im-"

"Are you trying to kill me!?" I teared up.

"What!? James, no! No, no, no! I would never dream of killing you!"

"Then why didn't you tell me sooner? We could've prevented anything like this!"

"Because then I would have to kill you. I'm not supposed to tell anyone about this…"

"Whatever…"

Kendall PoV:

I had to go for a walk, because I couldn't stand hearing Carlos and Logan moan and scream any longer. I decided to go see Neil; I haven't seen him since I last saw James.

I walked through the doors of the blood bank and saw him running his fingers through his hair, worriedly.

"Neil, are you okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong?" I kneeled down in front of him and put my hand on his knee.

He told me everything and I felt like I started crying.

"I'm sorry." He sat down next to me.

I started crying and he held me as I cried. I gripped his shirt and cried into his chest. He held me tighter, rocking back and forth, and whispering soothing things into my ear.

"It's going to be okay. Deep, deep down he still loves you. He just needs to open his eyes and see it."

"I j-just love h-him so m-much!"

"Shh….Hey." he said softly and I looked at him. "We're going to get him back, okay?" He caressed my cheek with his hand and smiled softly.

His face got closer to mine and his lips brushed against mine, and then the phone rang. He sighed and stood up to answer it. He wanted to kiss me, but the phone stopped him. If the phone didn't ring, would he have kissed me and how would I have reacted? I mean, he has been there for me through everything and brought me back to life. Maybe…No, never mind. It's stupid.

"Hey, you okay?" He smiled and sat back down next to me.

"Why?"

"Why? I was just-"

"Why did you want to kiss me?"

"I-I don't know. I guess you looked like you needed one. I'm sorry…"

"Oh, okay…You've been there with me through all of my problems…and I would like to thank you for that." I smiled.

"Really?" He looked at me.

"Yeah, so don't be sorry about anything."

"So, about that kiss?"

"I don't need it anymore." I smiled more.

"Oh okay…" He frowned.

"What's-"

"What are we going to do about James?"

"Oh, I don't know. What did you tell him?"

"He needs to kill her. If he doesn't then he is going to die."

"JAMES!" I vampire sped out the doors to look for him.

Carlos PoV-

He still loved me after everything that I have done to him, but he has been acting a little weird. He's been kind of zoned here lately. He'll be smiling one second, and then staring out into space the next.

"Logan…"

"Yeah?"

"What's been going on? You've been totally out of it here lately." I hugged him from behind and rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Nothing…"

"Something is bothering you. I can tell."

"I just…I don't want to talk about it, Carlos."

"Oh….Alright." I frowned and then walked over to the couch and sat down.

"Carlos, I didn't-"

"It's okay. It's just you've been acting weird ever since James left about a year ago."

Logan PoV-

Those words struck me harder than anything and my chest started to ache. I braced myself against the wall with my hand and grabbed my chest.

"Logan, are you okay?" Carlos came over to me.

"N-No! Don't you ev-ver bring James up again!"

"It just came out. I wasn't thinking. I didn't know that it would hurt you so badly."

"That's just it, Carlos! You never think, you just say and do!" I growled. "And it hurt me because I love-" I stopped at that.

"Logan….How?" He teared up.

"Well, while you were making out with Kendall, I ran away and cried because you cannot imagine the pain I felt when you did that."

"That still doesn't explain-"

"I was getting to that! As I was crying, James came to see if I was okay. I told him that you didn't love me anymore and then….he kissed me."

"What would a simple kiss do?"

"He also bit me." I showed him my bite mark.

"Logan!" He gasped. "You let him bite you!?"

"I thought you didn't love me anymore!"

"But I do love you!"

"I know that now and I'm sorry for ever doubting you!" I held his hand and he backed away. "Car-"

"Maybe I should be questioning if you love me…"

"What?"

"You said you love James. I just don't know if you love ME!"

"If I didn't love you, would I have had sex with you earlier?"

"Well, you and James did have sex before and you said you didn't love him then."

"Would I have turned around, to go back to you after making you cry, if I didn't love you!?"

"I-No…"

"Okay then! I do love you! More than anything in the world, Carlos." I cupped his face lightly. "I love you so much."

"I…I love you too, Logan. But what about-" I cut off his speech by pressing my lips against his.

He kissed me back and I pressed him against the wall.

Kendall PoV-

I looked around and finally found James.

"JAMES!" I ran over to his lifeless body lying on the ground. "James, come on baby. Don't do this to me again." I started crying then I looked up at the girl that I was thinking was Melissa. "What did you do to him!?" I screamed.

"I killed him." She smirked.

"I thought you loved him!"

"No, he was just another victim on my list. You were supposed to die when my mother seduced him into trying to kill you."

"Muffy!?"

"Yes."

"But I killed her along with her unborn child! You shouldn't be alive!"

"I'm not her unborn child that you killed! I'm her other daughter that she had before she met James."

"You fucking bitch!"

She laughed then got choked up by something and fell to the ground. I looked up to see Neil standing over the body. Her body then disappears into dust.

"She's dead now."

I looked down at James body in my hands. He looked so lifeless. I started crying and crying.

"James, please! Please wake up!" I shook his shoulder lightly and he didn't move. "James, don't do this to me again! PLEASE, WAKE UP!" I screamed.

"Kendall-"

"NO! Neil, he is not gone! Don't you dare tell me he's gone! I have spent too much time thinking about him being alive! And I never thought that the first time in a year, I would see him dying in my arms like this!"

"Kendall, he's gone! Let's go!" He tried to drag me away, but I stayed on the ground and hugged James body in my arms tightly crying harder and harder.

**A/N: OH GOSH! I am so sorry that it took so long!  
Ive just had school and I have to write stories for school, so I had to focus on them.**

I hope you like this chapter. I tried working on it every chance I got. Which has taken me alomst 2 months, which I apologize for very greatly!

Tell me what you think and give me some ideas for the next chapter. Because I havent even started on that yet.

I do have to tell you though, this is NOT the end. There WILL be more, trust me! I still have a lot of work to put into this story.

Love it? Like it? Hate it? TELL MEH!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Kendall PoV-

James was lay9ing in my arms, lifelessly. Neil was angry that I wouldn't leave his body, but I didn't care. The love of my life was dead…

"Neil, can you bring him back to life?" I said rocking back and forth, hugging James' body with my life.

"I can't, but I won't." Then I stopped.

"W-Why?"

"Because he never loved you! He doesn't even deserve to live after what hes done to you! Hes turned you into an emotional crybaby, Kendall!"

"Get out of h-here before I kill you!" I growled as tears ran down my face, then he left without another word.

I sat there for days, not moving from that very spot, not letting his body go, crying the whole entire time until I couldn't cry no more. Then I heard a gasp and felt arms wrap tightly around me.

"Kendall?" I heard his voice call weakly, and at that very moment I burst into tears. "Shhh…Hey." He looked at me and wiped away my tears from my cheeks. "Im okay."

I looked into his soft hazel eyes for the first in over a year and it was like everything around me disappeared.

"I thought I had lost you forever." I teared up.

"How long was I out?"

"Five days…."

"And you stayed with me that long?" I nodded. "Even though you thought I was dead?"

"Mhm…" I teared up more.

He looked down, breaking my gaze into his eyes, then looked back up and kissed me passionately. It was the most wonderful feeling Ive ever had. I never wanted to let him go…Not ever.

James PoV-

I couldn't believe that he stayed with me for 5 days straight. I now realized that he killed Muffy for a reason…Love. I didn't hate him anymore; I loved him. Feeling his lips against mine after a year, was like nothing that I have ever felt before.

He tasted of salt from his sweat and tears. I couldn't let him go, not now. He was mine again; All mine. We kissed eachother for what seemed like forever. I pulled back and looked into his deep emerald eyes.

"I can't believe that I hated you for so long, when what you did was for such a good reason."

"its okay, James. I just missed you so much. I was thinking about soon killing myself…"

"K-Kill yourself?" He nodded slowly.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Kendall wanted to kill himself all because of me.

"Why?"

"because you hated me and I couldn't live with that. It literally shattered me when you said you hated me. I wanted to kill myself right then and there, but I didn't. I kept hoping for a year that you would walk through my front door, tell me you loved me, and then kiss me for eternity." His eyes started to tear up again. "But you never did!"

"Im so sorry, Kendall." I hugged him tightly. "I didn't know. Baby, Im sorry!"

"Y-You called me, 'baby'?"

"I guess I did." I smiled at him.

"I love you, James." He looked at me.

"I love you too, Kendall."

Carlos PoV-

A couple of days went by and apparently, Ive decided to become an alcoholic. It all started when Logan and I decided to put the engagement back on.

-FLASHBACK-

"Will you marry me, Carlos Garcia?" Those sweet beautiful brown eyes of Logan, smiled.

:Yeah!" I smiled big and he hugged me tightly.

:We should celebrate with drinks!"

"Oh yeah!"

We went to a bar and I drank until I passed out. Logan drank a little since he saw how I was drinking, because he knew if I was too drunk he'd have to drive home.

-REALITY-

Since then, I can't stop drinking. As a matter of fact, I have a beer in my hand right now. I just can't stop, no matter how hard I try!

"Hey, baby, can you-" Logan stopped and stared at the bottle in my hand.

"Logan, Im trying to stop, but I-" He snatched the bottle out of my hand, then something inside my head, snapped.

I got up and slammed him against the wall, pinning him there. The bottle fell to the floor, shattering to pieces. The look in his eyes was of sadness and fear… I couldn't believe that I was attacking my fiancé. I let him go and stumbled backwards, looking at my hands.

"What has this stuff done to me?"

"Carlos, it w-wasn't your f-fault." I looked up and he was shaking.

"Logan, Im sorry." I frowned and teared up.

"Its alright." He bragged me up in a tight, embracing hug, with his long muscular arms around me.

"I love you, Logan."

"I love you too, Carlos."

Logan PoV-

Carlos became an alcoholic… He had no idea how this was affecting me. It was killing me to see him drink his life away like he was. I love him, but I couldn't bare seeing him like that. I wanted him to stop. We went through classes, treatments, and everything that we could think of, but it just wasn't working. I knew it was a bad idea to go for drinks right after the proposal, but I couldn't help it. It seemed fun at the time, but now Im regretting even suggesting it…

Day after day past and he still kept drinking and drinking. I heard a thump come from the kitchen and I walked out to check it out. When I did, I saw Carlos lying on the floor, not moving.

"CARLOS!" I screamed and ran over to him and picked him up into my arms.

I saw the beer bottle roll under the counter. This couldn't be happening! I called an ambulance and they picked him up and rushed to the hospital. I waited for hours and hours in the waiting room, when finally the doctor came in. I stood up and he looked at me.

**_A/N: I am going to be taking a looooong break from any Big Time Rush stories. Including this one. I dont really wanna explain, but I have found a new inspiration. Supernatural. Its my new love. I still love Big Time Rush, but I love SPN more. Hope you guys will understand._**


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